Crystal Nuding

People are mad these days. Mad as hell and don’t want to take it any more. I say, good. Be mad. But then let it go.

Allow yourself to move through that energy and notice how you can shift the circumstances around you by not engaging. And even better than not engaging, how about blessing the person or situation you’re mad at?

I’ve had sessions this past week or so with folks angry, irritated or disgusted by either an individual or group of people. I can totally relate. We’ve all felt those less than warm and fuzzy feelings before and it’s absolutely OK.

Every feeling you have ever felt in your entire life is valid.

Those feelings were your natural reaction to the situation, given everything you’ve lived up to that point. So take a deep breathe and relax. It is OK and you are right to feel how you feel. But that doesn’t mean it can’t change.

We live in a society that wants to make us feel bad for how we feel.

“You shouldn’t feel that way!” “That’s not Christian of you to feel that way.” “That’s not the way I feel, you’re wrong.”

Any of these sound or feel familiar? Of course they do.

If we can’t understand and get frustrated when someone doesn’t like tomatoes or hates walnuts in their brownies, what do you think the reaction will be around subjects with deeper meaning like religion or politics?

We all believe what we believe. Beliefs are merely thoughts we think over and over again. We all think our beliefs are true, but they aren’t. Not necessarily. Unfortunately, some of our beliefs don’t serve us or anyone at all. Some of our beliefs are completely untrue.

We’re not taught to believe things by our parents or teachers by them saying… “Ok, kids! Pay attention. Today, I will teach you to believe ________.”

That didn’t happen.

What did happen was as children we were little sponges.

Our parents raised us and our preachers and teachers taught us like we were only listening to their words. Ha! Bless all of our hearts. I’m sure you can relate from your own experience the truth in this. We’ve all heard, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Guess what folks, it doesn’t work that way.

What we(ALL of us) as children did was pick up on the vibration, the attitude and the underlying meaning of why “they” did what they did. And filtering that through our own short life experiences, beliefs began to form in our little child minds.

Beliefs like…. “Women are supposed to take care of the house and children. Men don’t do dishes or housework. Girls have to be skinny, pretty and nice to get a husband. Boys have to work hard and make lots of money to get a girl. Women are supposed to make everything better. Daddies don’t stick around. I wasn’t good enough for them to love me. I have to be perfect all the time and never make mistakes. Men don’t respect women and think they are hysterical. Women have to take care of and protect themselves because men are neanderthals.”

Children grow up and learn how to treat people and how to allow people to treat them by watching their parents. Is their father kind, loving and respectful to their mother? Does their mother have her own power or does she always defer to father but then blow up and be angry with the children? Girls and boys learn much about the rules of society in their own homes. Whether kindness and compassion or impatience and abuse, they are affected by the circumstances around them.

What if they(we as children) saw and heard parents blessing their enemies?

What if children saw more kindness, gentleness and compassion in their homes? Not only the compassion that parents had for friends and loved ones, but also patience and compassion for people they disagreed with or didn’t appreciate. What change might that bring about?

How can you begin to bless the people that irritate or frustrate you most? Without making huge sweeping moves, what small ways can you begin to bless everyone around you.

What do you think would happen if everyone took a moment to say. “I really can’t stand this person, but wow, they must be suffering to act like that. Or what must they have been through to be like that? Bless their heart.” And then say, bless my heart for having to deal with them. Let yourself feel and move the energy around the situation while giving yourself and the opposing party a break.

Who can you send blessings to today that you have profound judgements about?

What you do for others, you do for yourself. When you judge, curse and demean others you’re doing it to yourself. When you bless them, you bless yourself.

Give it a shot. When you take time for prayer or meditation today, whatever that looks like for you, send blessings to those you don’t care for or understand.

You will be surprised at the level of peace you can achieve when you stop raging against what you don’t like and start cultivating more compassion for what you don’t understand.

I would never do what I see many people around me doing every day, but I’m not mad at them about it. My heart sees the suffering in their heart and I have deep compassion for them. Does it always come easily, no. Many times I have to feel through my own anger and judgement about the situation, but I always understand it is that, my OWN anger, fear or judgement.

Even people in positions of authority(doctors, teachers, pastors, politicians, lawyers) have issues. You have issues, your parents had issues, their parents had issues. Get over it. Stop judging others by their issues and recognize you have your own. Take a deep breath and give everyone a break(yourself included.) When you accept your feelings as your own and stop blaming others, life gets really good.

It’s not always easy, but it’s very simple.

Bless your heart, bless their heart, bless all of our hearts. Everything really is OK. We’re all going to get through this and life will be even better because of it.

Seeing and holding the vision of compassion and cooperation in all areas of our lives.

Sending much love and many blessings to all of you.

I’m here if you need some help.
Crystal