The Neighbor’s Cat and Mothers

In honor of the recent Mother’s Day Holiday, I want to send blessings, love and support to all mothers everywhere! A day just isn’t enough for what you do.

September 2020… My neighbor’s cat had it’s 5th litter in my backyard. We’ve lived here for almost 3 years. 

The first three litters, I didn’t know about until kittens began emerging from under our deck, we didn’t yet know momma kitty and she was hiding. The fourth litter, I watched Momma roaming in the cold rain, big and pregnant looking for a safe place.

She’s an “outside” cat and her family backyard has two german shepherds… not an ideal environment for giving birth and raising kittens. So, we fixed up a big box and towels for her in our shed, she had her kittens and a week or so later the neighbor kids came knocking on the door asking for them. I happily handed over the box and asked them to please have her and the kittens fixed. Thank goodness THAT’s over. Ha!

Fast forward to September… 5th litter, 5 more kittens… the teenagers from her last litter still running around all over the neighborhood, we knew we had to get involved. This was not my idea of a good time. I’ve never owned a cat and certainly hadn’t planned on raising kittens. But, the idea of 5 more cats running around motivated me to action. I moved through the initial “don’t wants” and came to a place of more ease around what needed to be done. We would care for the kittens and get them adopted when the time came.

As I came to this decision and began to support this sweet little mother cat, that really had no choice in her life but to have these kittens and take care of them the best she can…. I had a really profound thought. What if I gave her all the love and conscious support… not PERFECT support, but the best and most “aware” support I can provide? Ok. Let’s do this.

She got food, shelter from the cold and rain, and lots of love. It always amazed me how she’d leave the food to receive the love. As I sat and loved on her I thought about the love and support I didn’t receive when I was a young pregnant mother. Though married, I got pregnant at 19 and felt embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t feel as though I deserved help. I had “made my bed” so to speak and didn’t allow myself to ask for or expect the help and support I really needed.

What if, I thought. What if I gave this little momma cat the sweet, tender, loving kindness and support I needed? What if I just do the things I can do without needing to do everything and perfectly?

I think of mothers everywhere that take much of the responsibility, and get most of the blame, having only and ever done the best they could at the time. 

Can you find a similar situation in your life, that you could offer yourself, through action toward another, all that you needed but didn’t receive? Oftentimes we feel we don’t have these things to give but actually, offering what you always needed heals those tender places in ourselves that need the attention.

Realizing and embracing the idea that no mother can do it all, and we all need help, is paramount to our thriving. Also understand that we have always had what we needed, or thought we were lacking, in some form or other. If you think you don’t have your keys but they’re actually in the pocket of the pants you wore yesterday, do you really NOT have your keys? Or are you just not looking in the right place?

Though our children (pets, projects, relationships), every one of our insecurities are able to play out right before our eyes. Our outer, physical, right now reality, is a perfect reflection of our inner struggles. So being aware of this information can help you relax and soften around anything you might currently feel bad about.

ALERT – Unsolicited Parenting Advice!

What I’ve learned is this, take it or leave it. We’re supposed to love, support, teach and enjoy our children to the best of our (human) ability and then set them free to live the life they came here to live, regardless of what we’ve hoped and envisioned for them. And our perfection or being far from it has nothing to do with the success or perceived failures of our children. We all (as individual mind-body-spirit complexes) came here to do what we do, not do what someone else wants or thinks we should do. So, if you’re judging yourself based on what your child has or hasn’t accomplished, you’re missing your own point. And on the other end of that, if your child is judging you for parenting mistakes, they haven’t grown up enough to recognize these truths for themselves. So bless all of our hearts! Let everyone, including yourself, off the hook. We all came here to experience what we’re experiencing and this “choose your own adventure” is just that. You get to choose and so does everyone else.


Not knowing where this “kitten raising road” was going when it started… nearing the end I could see how this, as everything, was a lesson in letting go. (of old stories, ideas, energy, people, places or things that no longer serve us)

How to let go and when to let go have been recurring struggles I’ve created/experienced in my life.

From this level of consciousness I let myself feel my way through it without judgment or rush. “I’ll know when I know”… is what I tell myself. Because, as I have often experienced, there always comes a time when I’ve had enough and I am ready, willing and able to go through whatever I have to go through, to get where I want to be. 

Support for Mothers

We, as women and mothers (and of course some men), love our children, spouses, family and friends so much that we’ll give it all, everything we have, to someone unwilling or unable to give us what we need in return.

If you find yourself there, just BE there. Don’t struggle. Relax. Breathe. Right where you are. Feel what it feels like physically in your body to experience what you’re experiencing. Don’t think about anything. Stop and breathe. Whatever it is. It can shift. 

If we let “what is” BE, and turn our attention to a subject (or object, such as my neighbors cat and her 5 kittens) that is pleasing, relaxing, playful, fun, sweet… we can let things shift. That doesn’t mean we’re not attending to what needs attending to, it means that we’re creating our reality by selectively focusing on things that please and ease us in moments of frustration about another subject. And from the knowing/understanding of “you get what you focus on”, that’s a darn good tactic.

The name of the game is relaxation. If you are relaxed about something, you’ll not struggle against it and it can more easily turn out how you want, or in such a way that you’re easily able to flow with. We wanted our neighbors to have their cat fixed but we didn’t want to approach it from a place of frustration or judgement. Great!

How can you relax about what’s happening or “could” happen? (Is the cat pregnant again!? NO!) Keep breathing and feel through the sensations of the emotions surrounding the upset.

Can you catch yourself in a moment when you’re wanting something good to happen but are actually PLANNING on something bad happening? Just being aware that you’re doing this begins to shift your perception of what’s actually happening.

Resolution!

The kittens have been adopted, yes! And here I sit feeling the familiar painful feeling of letting go. Knowing this is the way. The natural way of things. Heartbroken, but full of hope for these sweet babes to have happy lives. We did the work, physically, emotionally and energetically/ vibrationally. It wasn’t necessarily easy, but knowing what we know, totally worth it.

Fast forward 8 months, Momma kitty got pregnant again, and had her 6th and final litter in our shed. This time though, when the neighbor kids came knocking on our door and I carried Gracie (we finally learned her name) and her 4 fat and healthy kitties next door and deposited them in our neighbors home, we were thanked so sweetly for caring for them and assured she would be fixed. YES, please and thank you. What a blessing.

We walked home filled with love and bursting with joy at the way we allowed this scenario to play out. Our sweet neighbor kids get to have the experience of raising these kittens and taking responsibility for them. It was a beautiful interaction.

So, for me, the big movement around some really tender, personal, old pain and upset in regard to my own young parenting experience was played out through the journey from irritation, upset and judgment around caring for my neighbors cat into understanding, acceptance and appreciation for each experience, mine and hers.

When we can withhold judgment and just allow ourselves to experience what’s in front of us magical things can happen. Life is happily exposing us to our limiting beliefs for our own benefit. It’s our own free will choice to take it or leave it.

Happy Friday, my friends.

I myself, will take it.

All my love,
Crystal

Blessings & Beliefs

Many blessings for compassionate cooperation

Many blessings for compassionate cooperation

People are mad these days. Mad as hell and don’t want to take it any more. I say, good. Be mad. But then let it go.

Allow yourself to move through that energy and notice how you can shift the circumstances around you by not engaging. And even better than not engaging, how about blessing the person or situation you’re mad at?

I’ve had sessions this past week or so with folks angry, irritated or disgusted by either an individual or group of people. I can totally relate. We’ve all felt those less than warm and fuzzy feelings before and it’s absolutely OK.

Every feeling you have ever felt in your entire life is valid.

Those feelings were your natural reaction to the situation, given everything you’ve lived up to that point. So take a deep breathe and relax. It is OK and you are right to feel how you feel. But that doesn’t mean it can’t change.

We live in a society that wants to make us feel bad for how we feel.

“You shouldn’t feel that way!” “That’s not Christian of you to feel that way.” “That’s not the way I feel, you’re wrong.”

Any of these sound or feel familiar? Of course they do.

If we can’t understand and get frustrated when someone doesn’t like tomatoes or hates walnuts in their brownies, what do you think the reaction will be around subjects with deeper meaning like religion or politics?

We all believe what we believe. Beliefs are merely thoughts we think over and over again. We all think our beliefs are true, but they aren’t. Not necessarily. Unfortunately, some of our beliefs don’t serve us or anyone at all. Some of our beliefs are completely untrue.

We’re not taught to believe things by our parents or teachers by them saying… “Ok, kids! Pay attention. Today, I will teach you to believe ________.”

That didn’t happen.

What did happen was as children we were little sponges.

Our parents raised us and our preachers and teachers taught us like we were only listening to their words. Ha! Bless all of our hearts. I’m sure you can relate from your own experience the truth in this. We’ve all heard, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Guess what folks, it doesn’t work that way.

What we(ALL of us) as children did was pick up on the vibration, the attitude and the underlying meaning of why “they” did what they did. And filtering that through our own short life experiences, beliefs began to form in our little child minds.

Beliefs like…. “Women are supposed to take care of the house and children. Men don’t do dishes or housework. Girls have to be skinny, pretty and nice to get a husband. Boys have to work hard and make lots of money to get a girl. Women are supposed to make everything better. Daddies don’t stick around. I wasn’t good enough for them to love me. I have to be perfect all the time and never make mistakes. Men don’t respect women and think they are hysterical. Women have to take care of and protect themselves because men are neanderthals.”

Children grow up and learn how to treat people and how to allow people to treat them by watching their parents. Is their father kind, loving and respectful to their mother? Does their mother have her own power or does she always defer to father but then blow up and be angry with the children? Girls and boys learn much about the rules of society in their own homes. Whether kindness and compassion or impatience and abuse, they are affected by the circumstances around them.

What if they(we as children) saw and heard parents blessing their enemies?

What if children saw more kindness, gentleness and compassion in their homes? Not only the compassion that parents had for friends and loved ones, but also patience and compassion for people they disagreed with or didn’t appreciate. What change might that bring about?

How can you begin to bless the people that irritate or frustrate you most? Without making huge sweeping moves, what small ways can you begin to bless everyone around you.

What do you think would happen if everyone took a moment to say. “I really can’t stand this person, but wow, they must be suffering to act like that. Or what must they have been through to be like that? Bless their heart.” And then say, bless my heart for having to deal with them. Let yourself feel and move the energy around the situation while giving yourself and the opposing party a break.

Who can you send blessings to today that you have profound judgements about?

What you do for others, you do for yourself. When you judge, curse and demean others you’re doing it to yourself. When you bless them, you bless yourself.

Give it a shot. When you take time for prayer or meditation today, whatever that looks like for you, send blessings to those you don’t care for or understand.

You will be surprised at the level of peace you can achieve when you stop raging against what you don’t like and start cultivating more compassion for what you don’t understand.

I would never do what I see many people around me doing every day, but I’m not mad at them about it. My heart sees the suffering in their heart and I have deep compassion for them. Does it always come easily, no. Many times I have to feel through my own anger and judgement about the situation, but I always understand it is that, my OWN anger, fear or judgement.

Even people in positions of authority(doctors, teachers, pastors, politicians, lawyers) have issues. You have issues, your parents had issues, their parents had issues. Get over it. Stop judging others by their issues and recognize you have your own. Take a deep breath and give everyone a break(yourself included.) When you accept your feelings as your own and stop blaming others, life gets really good.

It’s not always easy, but it’s very simple.

Bless your heart, bless their heart, bless all of our hearts. Everything really is OK. We’re all going to get through this and life will be even better because of it.

Seeing and holding the vision of compassion and cooperation in all areas of our lives.

Sending much love and many blessings to all of you.

I’m here if you need some help.
Crystal

Many Blessings

Holly Fern Baby

In the wake of the shocking and upsetting incident in Boston, I am witnessing more and more of what I’ve been watching happen for a while now. The world is changing. People are reaching out and caring for one another.

I have seen infinitely more love and support than outrage. Not that outrage is wrong, it should be felt and moved through like all feelings. It’s just not productive to project it to the rest of the world. Of course the perpetrator/s will be discovered and justice will be served, but I prefer and appreciate the focus of so many people on the many blessings, the helpers.

I love how Abraham has shared with us that the people intimately involved in a tragedy actually deal with it better than those of us far away who don’t have the opportunity to physically help and be a part of the comforting and healing.

Many folks involved are thrilled to be alive and gain a fresh perspective on life. And while, yes, they may be injured, even to the point of loosing a limb, they recognize the gift they have been given. Life. Now.

As someone thousand’s of miles away that can’t physically jump in and begin to help, many can get stuck in their thinking about the upset and worry over what has happened or could happen. We want to do something. We want something done.

While our society greatly values physical action, your powerful, positive and loving thoughts do much more for the people of the tragedy than you might realize.

We live in a world of oscillating fields(we are them and they are everything… science lesson later) and when you hold the vision of health, happiness and harmony for others you are affecting their field. We can stand firmly where we are, hold the vision of peace, love, soothing and healing in our hearts and give that to the people directly affected by the tragedy and those many blessings, the precious helpers that were within reach this time.

Life is a roller coaster. Tragedy happens, right alongside heroism, compassion and kindness. Recognize the trouble and immediately throw yourself into the solution. Allow the moment you need to soothe yourself and then you can begin to soothe others.

You are much more powerful than you know. Shine your light and let’s wrap Boston and the tender human beings there in loving kindness, peace and hope.

The rain always clears and the sun always shines again.
Let that be your reminder to allow what is to pass so that what will be can come.

You are loved and cared for in ways you can’t imagine. Count your many blessings daily and be sure to count yourself as a blessing to others. You are.

(512) 665-4414 | Crystal@CrystalNuding.com

Call or email to schedule your session today.

Be Your Own Valentine

Be Your Own Valentine!

Be Your Own Valentine!

This time of year, whether coupled or not, many find ourselves longing. Society, media and big business have a lot riding on your not feeling happy and complete. If you’re constantly longing, you’re constantly buying. The next biggest thing… new car, new clothes to keep up with the latest fashion, whatever it takes to feel better.

Many folks spend this time of year wishing for someone to love and adore them, even when they may already have someone who does.

We all want someone who will understand us, treat us with kindness, compassion and always appreciate our eccentricities.

Though we think we want it from other people, who we really need it from is much closer. The single most important relationship we will have in our entire lives is with ourselves.

Your true and perfect partner is you. The way you treat yourself in the quiet of your own mind will be directly reflected in your outer life and circumstances.

Too many of us spend our lives waiting for that perfect someone to soothe us and care for us in the way we want and need to be cared for. But, actually giving ourselves what we need is the quickest way to create it in our outer life reality.

No matter your past or how your life has been up until this point, things can change and you can have what you want.

When you find yourself feeling vulnerable, soothe yourself. Allow yourself to be reminded that we are all fragile human beings that spend way too much time in our heads and not enough time in our hearts (bodies).

Take yourself out to dinner. Run yourself a bubble bath and get yourself your own favorite treat. Spend time physically soothing and pampering yourself.

Do this for yourself. Be kind and compassionate in your mind when you need support and the universe will respond accordingly. If you are critical of yourself and others, you will find the world to be a very critical place. Begin finding beauty in everyone and everything you see and that too will be reflected in your world.

Taking the time to appreciate what you currently have while daydreaming about what you want and visualizing things that please you will yield profound results.

Rather than chocolate or flowers this Valentine’s day, give yourself the gift that will change your life. Be your own best friend. If you need help get it. Let life be easy. Learn to support and uplift yourself and you will be amazed at what happens in your world. I’m here to help.