Busting Out

Crystal Laughing

We all need and do “bust out” from time to time. The thought of our friends becoming new parents makes my heart feel like it will bust out of my chest. Perhaps the job you loved for so long is no longer a match so it’s time to bust out. Maybe we’re busting out because our work project is complete or school is out and it’s time for much needed ease and relief.

Whatever the reason for your last “bust out”, you can see and probably even FEEL the release and relief of busting out. Extracting yourself from a place or feeling that doesn’t seem big enough for you anymore. Something you can’t contain or keep restrained any longer. Busting out, while sometimes uncomfortable, will set you free.

I grew up out in the country on a huge ranch in between two small Texas towns. The people there are good as gold, with hearts the size of our great state, but the minds around there could use a little opening. I’m sure they’d disagree, but I’m a bit different.

Growing up there, you didn’t even realize what a huge world there was outside of our little slice of it. You spend your childhood and young adult life hearing and doing the same things as everyone else around you, not because you wanted to, just because that’s what you did. Most everyone dressed the same and listened to the same music.

We had new kids come in from far away places(like California, ha!) and I would immediately feel sorry for them. They thought they had landed in po-dunk hell. In some ways they had, in others, it was heaven.

I loved growing up and living there, and even today I still love that that is how and where I grew up. So many things I am, know and do are because of my life in that small place, but there is much more to life and me(and you).

What we learn from our parents, communities and society growing up is just that, what we learn, what they knew to teach us, what they knew about life up to that point. But life goes on and we all keep learning.(hopefully)

Folks from my home town do many things… work in the oil field, in schools, they are teachers, coaches and administrators, they are business men and women, parents, stay-at-home moms, and more than a few cowboys. These are all expected, respected, acceptable and appreciated “jobs.”

But how does it work if what you do or your life path doesn’t look exactly like everyone else? What if you have thoughts and feelings that don’t match what everyone else is thinking and feeling? What if your idea of success doesn’t look like what you’ve been taught success looks like? What if your family/friends/community think you need to be, do or have things you don’t really care about? What if they think what you do is a scam or crazy?

Only one thing to do.

Bust. Out.

First let me assure you that you are perfect, absolutely perfect, right now and that everything is absolutely working out for you. The ultimate beauty of this magnificent world we live in is diversity. Variety is the spice of life. It’s what keeps things interesting. Living the life you were meant to live is the most important thing you will ever do for yourself and the world.

You can’t live your life for everyone else forever. Actually, some can and do. If you love it, do it, otherwise stop and do what you love. It’s up to each of us to determine what we want and what will make us happy. If you’re spending all of your time trying to make sure you’re doing things others will approve of you’re missing out on your own true hearts desires.

I lived much of my younger life doing what someone else told me to do. Parents, teachers, bosses and two husbands all to varying degrees determined my existence. Doing what I was told to do and/or what I knew others expected of me was my way of life. It was only after realizing how miserable I was that began to see I didn’t want the same things as everyone else. And that was OK.

Feeling like an alien in your family or community is actually not a bad thing. Take a big step back and have a look at the values, attitudes, ideals and behaviors of the people you feel separated from, do you agree with them? Often times you won’t, and that will be the reason you feel the separateness.

Appreciate everyone and everything that has brought you to right here and now. Know that from right where you are, you can go where ever you want. And this requires absolutely no change on anyone else’s part. They are perfect just the way they are, too.

When we get this concept and begin to appreciate everyone in our lives for their perfect role in shaping who we have and will become, we are amazingly free. No one can ever offend or upset us again.

Learning to live with other people not appreciating or respecting what you do, who you are or how you do things can be an interesting journey. But,ultimately the most rewarding and important journey we’ll ever take.

One day you’ll realize what other people think doesn’t matter and you’ll find yourself giggling. You’ll laugh and laugh about all the times you worried about what someone else might think. Hilarious.

Set your intention now to discover the real you. Intend to truly know who you are, what you do and your benefit to others/society. Many people from your “original tribe” might not really get it or you and that’s OK.

I’m sure you are well aware how people feel about things they don’t understand… many times fearful or dismissive. But, that’s not about you. It’s about them. Bless them and move on.

So, here’s to busting out in whatever way feels best to you. Here’s to you finding your own clearest, strongest voice and the courage to use it.

Find your niche, spread your wings and soar. The world needs more and more people like you… being truly, authentically, happily who you are.

Sending all my love and many blessings. I’m here to help.

Crystal

10 thoughts on “Busting Out

  1. Such wonderful advice, Crystal! Throughout my own life, I’ve done my busting out in stages and I’d say that, at this point, I’m able to be myself. Looking back, it’s been an interesting and enlightening journey – one that I really wouldn’t change a bit.

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  2. Exactly. College was like that to some degree but my experiences and ideas became into focus when I moved to Europe. I didnt grow up at the ranch but spent summers and appreciate people who work on the land but I’m so happy about my experiences and love the fact that I can give back through Habitat and tutoring 1st graders. I love you so much and am so appreciative of all my nieces and nephews who make me feel special Xoxo

    Sent from my iPhone

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    • Thank you, Aunt Lyn!
      You sure did bust out! 🙂 Thank goodness for you!
      You have been a wonderful teacher to many children across the globe and continue to serve others with such compassion. Thank you for being such a beautiful example to all of us.
      I love you so much. 🙂
      XOXOXOXO

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  3. Crystal, I so needed to hear this message right now! I decided to pull my kids out of the magnet schools I worked so hard to get them in and we are going to do an online home-school situation. Everyone thinks I am crazy, but if feels right to keep them close and to let them have opportuniteis to learn in new and exciting ways. I’m excited and nervous and telling myself wonderful stories about how this is going to be the best thing we ever did.

    Blessings,
    Michelle

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