Living Through Loss

Crystal Nuding Avatar
Winter Sky
Winter Sky – Looking up through the trees in Washington Park, Portland Oregon.

It’s happened. You’ve lost a loved one. The relationship you thought was forever is over. The job you once loved so dearly is no more. Tragedy, personal or global. The major occurrence in your life you think will be the end of you. It won’t.

You will get over it. You will feel better. Life will be OK again. You will be happy. You will find joy in the memories. You will breathe freely with light and easy breaths. Your heart will sing. Your mind will be at ease. You will feel inspired and joyous. You will feel peace in your heart.

But, in the mean time…

Soothe yourself physically first. The shock of such a loss is hard on our hearts, minds and bodies. Begin to do the easiest things first. Move your body to take care of yourself. Breathe deeply, often. We rarely use our lungs to full capacity, instead we take shallow, shorter breaths. Notice your breathing rhythms and let yourself take slower, deeper, more cleansing breaths. Just doing this will also help slow your mind down and relax. Tell yourself you’ll think about it later. Right now, allow the energy in your body to move and flow on through with as much ease as you can.

As soon as is possible(and as often as you need to), put on your robe or most comfortable pj’s and straighten up your space. Light some candles and put on some soothing music. Sit in your most comfortable chair or lay down on the couch, get a blanket if you’re cold. Curl up or wrap your arms around yourself and breathe. Notice how your body is feeling. Lightly “check in” with your entire body. Start with your toes and work your way up.

Getting into your body and out of your head is the key short-cut.
When you “think” about what you feel, it/the feeling, never goes away.
When you feel what you feel, it can move rather quickly.

Allow yourself the sadness. Cry until you stop, and you will. Breathe into the grief (anger, hurt) you feel in your heart, stomach or throat. Feel where you feel it and breathe. Allow yourself to just physically feel the sensations in your body. When you feel yourself tightening your stomach, relax it and breathe. Just notice where the feelings are and also notice how the physical sensation moves when you focus on it. Feel the tightness relax and move up, notice the relief you feel after a big yawn. You are moving the energy. Let it take as long as it takes. If it’s quick, great. If it takes a while, no big deal. This was a big experience and you deserve your own loving kindness, care and compassion.

Give yourself a moment to fully experience your experience. Give yourself permission to feel every feeling you ever have without judgment. Intend now to consciously soothe yourself in the quiet of your own mind. Remind yourself it is all going to be ok and better than that, it’s perfect.

Life is always working out for you and just because you don’t understand this right now, doesn’t mean you won’t. It just means you need to allow yourself to be where you are in your experience. With experience comes knowledge.

It will all be clear one day. Relax in that knowing. The better you get at moving the energy physically in your body the quicker the clarity comes. It’s only our minds that tell us something is wrong. Our physical bodies are instruments of communication between ourselves and our source. Learn to control your mind (and it’s propensity to focus negatively) and your ability to hear, know and understand those communications increases exponentially.

I send so much Love and Many Blessings to each and every person struggling with loss today and every day. I am holding the vision for absolute happiness, health, vitality and peace in your heart. You are loved and supported more than you know.


12 responses

  1. Sherrie stringer

    Thank you so much for this. I just love it when I read something that is exactly what I needed to hear.

    Like

    1. Crystal Nuding

      Thank you Sherita, I’m here to help. Love you!

      Like

  2. prewitt1970

    First I must say your words are brilliant and so very true. Being a person as many who have experienced some emence loss I concur to this post whole heartily!!
    Bless you and your wise words.
    Namaste
    Benjamin

    Like

    1. Crystal Nuding

      Thank you so much, Benjamin.
      Love,
      Crystal

      Like

  3. bcarkell

    One of the most important things you said is we must let ourselves feel the sadness. It’s a natural phase and we need to go through the mourning.

    Like

    1. Crystal Nuding

      Absolutely. We have these emotions for a reason, feel them and let them move. Thanks for stopping by, Ben.

      Like

  4. Cathy Ulrich

    Wonderful, concrete advice, Crystal. I love your suggestions and your kind and gentle way of soothing. Sooo important. Love you, Cathy

    Like

    1. Crystal Nuding

      Thanks, Cathy. 🙂
      Love you!

      Like

  5. andysalwaysright

    I might just use this advice from time to time. Really like the way you write. Very useful things you have to say. Thank you Crystal. Hope you have a great New Year 🙂

    Like

    1. Crystal Nuding

      Thank you so much, Andy. I am truly here to help. 🙂
      2013 is going to be an amazing year. Here’s to it! Happy New Year to you!

      Like

  6. a renaissance man

    I needed this today…thanks

    Like

    1. Crystal Nuding

      So happy to be here. Sending you a Divine Mother Hug for soothing, peace, ease and flow.
      Much Love to you, Mortimer.
      Happy New Year! XO

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: