Homecoming / Coming Home

I’ve had some full circle moments lately.  I recently went home for my high school homecoming. It has been 21 years since I graduated from Jayton High School.  And for the first time since I was  a very young child, I wanted to go home.  I needed the comfort of my family.  I needed to know that the recent energy I was feeling (previously tied up with them) was indeed old and no longer existed in my life.

Beside feeling the comfort and ease of family and being in my child hood home, I was reminded of how big my home truly is.  I was raised and my family still lives on JD Patterson Ranch, between 2 small towns in Texas.  Returning for homecoming in a town of 513 people is pretty wild, the love and support is amazing.  Political differences, religious differences… no matter.  We all hugged and smiled and squeezed each other laughing.  We kids grew up together, and the elders watched me grow up and I love them, all of them. Then and now.

The other town over, Aspermont is where my mom and grand parents were raised and lived most of their lives.  Anytime we go back, we eat at Hickman’s, the cafe of my childhood.  (chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, yeast rolls or garlic toast, old school salad bar… getting the picture!?? YUM.) As soon as I arrive in town, everyone recognizes me (because I look like my mother and my grandmother) and asks how they are.  Again, politics, religion, any difference at all… never mentioned.

It occurred to me on this trip how important having this community of familiar love and support has been in my life. I have 2 counties worth of folks that think I am pretty darn great and are always glad to see me and hug my neck. I see very clearly how people need it. I am well aware of the stability this network has provided me. Love and Support. I rarely see any of them (maybe once a year?) but they know me and love me and are there, with a smile on their faces whenever they think about me. And vice versa.

When I came home after the weekend.  I was again met with beautiful community.

I am recently rebuilding parts of my life. It feels so good to start fresh. Even if it’s a little scary at first, things always come around.  The unfamiliar can be most unsettling at times. But when I emailed my friends and family (some of which I’ve never seen in person, only spoken to on the phone or through email!) my new contact information and to tell them about this blog, my feeling of being home was even more palpable.  The love and support I have received has been overwhelming and I am more than thrilled at what life has in store for me.

Zupe

Alive and well in the NP. (non-physical!)

My sweet dog Zupe passed away 1 year ago on Oct 8th. He is ultimately what opened me up to the true nature of our lives and the beauty and wonder around us every day.  The energy I allowed to move with his passing flowered my full enlightenment.  The year that followed has been profound.  Vibrations that lay dormant in me (that no longer match my new reality) have come up and been felt.  Over and over again.  Situations I couldn’t believe.  Energy long since forgotten, back again for my feeling.  It didn’t always feel great, of course.  Because that is the way life is, and it’s ok.  I recognized at every turn myself moving old energy. Allowing the discomfort to wash over me and breathing through it.  Nothing to worry about. I’m not going to drown. I stand on solid ground. We all do.

So come home yourself.  To the knowing that all is truly well.

My life is exactly what I make of it.  No one creates in my life and reality. (Thank God!)

It’s just little ole me here.

Being excited about allowing more and more ease in my life and looking forward to sharing it all.

Much Love to you,
Crystal

Set Backs

Crystal Nuding

I recently experienced what some would consider a set back.  While it didn’t feel good, (sucked actually) I truly knew I (and everything) was ok.

I look at life a bit differently than most folks.

I do not believe that life just happens to us.  There is no one and nothing outside of ourselves pronouncing us good or bad, right or wrong.

We’ve been trained by society, family and religion to fear life; that someone out there is trying to hurt or take advantage of us. While we do have free will to look at life that way, it’s a pretty unhealthy (not to mention unhappy!) way to live.

There is a much larger part of ourselves, that you may or may not be aware of, (but is there none the less!) that is always happy and sees the positive in every outcome. When we begin to see life from the perspective that all is well, life gets much better.

Shit happens.

Life Happens.

And I always see the bright side.

This is my new blog site.

Stick around and see what happens next!

Much Love,

Crystal

Just Wake Up!

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I can move myself around in my dreams.  When in dream, if I find myself in a situation I don’t like or think will be too difficult to get out of, I just wake up. I don’t always remember my dreams, but the ones I do, I’m usually aware I’m dreaming.

I’ll move about through the dream
and direct myself in one way or another.  I once dreamt I was on a narrow one way, one lane road, as if there were road construction all around. I drove for miles and miles with not enough room to turn around, and then came upon a complete block in the road.  At first glance, backing up the entire way was my only way out.  Screw that! I thought, wake up!  Ahhh sweet relief. Laying there in my bed I giggled at myself for creating such a situation, relaxed and fell back to sleep. Thank goodness I was dreaming.

Last night I dreamt I was walking through some place that although wasn’t a prison, it FELT like one.  All of the sudden I was in a stark room with concrete floors and no apparent doors. There was some evidence of water on the floor and one lone, plain desk stood against a wall. I realized I needed to get out but couldn’t see the obvious way.  As I began to get anxious about it, I felt the walls getting closer. Wake up! It took about one more breath for me to say, “yeah, I’m outta here. Wake up.” As I smiled and went back to sleep I thought, prison, interesting.

This morning as I recapitulated my dream, first in my own head and later to Dionne I realized how often we sleep walk though our own lives. How we think/dream we are in some sort of prison or have no way out.


All we ever need to do, is wake up.

Waking up.  Ahhhhhh.  What a relief.  Waking up to the realization that it was only a dream. Waking up to the fact that we DO in fact get to create this reality. Waking up to the fact that we get to feel when we’re asleep and recognize those feelings of negativity or pain as indicators for us to wake up. Wake up to your large self. Wake up to the goodness and beauty surrounding you in this world and right now in your life. Wake up to your safety and security in every moment. Wake up to the love and adoration you are showered with daily by the Divine. Wake up to your absolute, true and complete worthiness and that anything you’ve ever thought to the contrary is a lie and only you dreaming. Wake up. Life is perfect right now. We are all safe and it will all work out.

The only thing that truly needs changing is our perspective and by allowing ourselves to move the energy that needs to be moved we get a much clearer picture of that. Feel what you feel, recognizing the story is just a dream and you are free.

Feel the truth of the message that all is well, we need only to wake up!

I love you so much,
Crystal
XOXO