The Key to Self Awareness

Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed. ~Thich Nhat HanhSelf awareness is a vital key to your ultimate freedom. Why do we do what we do? What causes us to take the action and make the choices we make? Or to maybe NOT take the action we know we should take?

Being able to self reflect and really know why we do what we do is imperative to our creating the change we want in our lives and world.

So what’s key to being self aware? Honesty. Not with someone else, but with you. Yep, being honest with yourself is imperative to self awareness. We can fool a lot of people and we spend an awful lot of time trying to fool ourselves, but as is usually the case, honesty is the best policy.

When we’re honest with ourselves about what we’re really feeling we can get to the heart of the issue. How many times have you found yourself upset with someone or something only to realize later that your level of upset didn’t really match the offending situation? Or maybe you were upset with the wrong person!

Each of our emotions are layered like an onion. The core of it was the first time you ever experienced the emotion. Perhaps you picked up the energy from a parent or other family member, maybe something upsetting happened to you, or both. From that first moment until you release it and allow the energy to move, that emotion continues to attract layer upon layer through each similar experience in our lives.

What you feel majorly upset about today is actually the extension of an emotion that many times started years ago.

When we know this we are able to see how we can sometimes over-react to small situations. They sure don’t seem small in the moment, but that’s because it carries with it years of upset, injustice, resentment, anger, fear, hurt or worry. That’s not to say that all situations are small. It’s just an opportunity to recognize that no matter what the circumstance we can respond differently.

What’s currently “wrong” in your life? What are you upset about?

You already know what it is. It’s that thing you think about all the time that makes you feel terrible. (When you think about it, where do you feel it physically in your body? Stomach, heart, throat, lower back, neck?)

Your weight, anxiety, your or a family members nagging health issue, money, your child, your aging or ailing parents, relationship issues, grief, your inability to get pregnant or an upcoming meeting/appointment/event.

Maybe it’s something that’s happening to another person or a situation you have no control over. That’s OK too. Your newly expanded self awareness will help you in finding clarity.

Ask yourself what’s at the core of my feeling about this situation? Do you feel responsible for fixing it? Do you feel like you should have done something to prevent it? Are you angry at the person you’re worried about? Let yourself explore your emotional feelings around the struggle. Allow yourself to get familiar with how you honestly feel.

Ask yourself what’s really going on? What started this? What’s this really about? When was the first time you recall feeling this emotion? Do you feel scared, mad, overlooked, overwhelmed, unworthy or not good enough? Regardless of your answers, it’s OK. Everything is always working out for us, no matter what it might look like right now.

Let yourself ask the questions and then relax. Don’t rack your brain trying to figure it out. It’ll come up easy enough, and if it doesn’t don’t force it. Notice where you feel it physically and soften around it. Tell yourself you’ll think about it later, but right now you’re just going to be. Breathe deeply and give yourself some mental and physical soothing and support. As you move through the physical energy, your mind will have access to more positive perspectives and ideas.

self-awareness_george-a-sheehan

When you become truly aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions a picture of your life will emerge. Things you struggled over or wondered why about will suddenly come clear and you’ll have a better grip on what you want and what you need to do to get there.

Control: Who Has It & How To Take It

You Are Free To Be HappyHappy 4th of July! Independence Day for us here in the United States.

in·de·pend·ence
[in-di-pen-duhns]  noun

1.  Freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

While we in America enjoy many freedoms we don’t always realize how free we actually are. Even people who live in nations with far less freedom than we, have the same capabilities to experience a kind of freedom that isn’t given or allowed, but taken.

Many don’t realize how much control they have over their own lives. Yes, even you have complete control over your life and all that swirls around in it.

What’s that? You don’t feel like you’re in control? You feel like you’re at the mercy of your boss, government, family obligations, money limitations or health issues? It’s OK. Many do until they realize that isn’t actually the case.

Our focus, energy and vibration control our reality.

What we focus on expands and we get what we generally expect.

Governments, religions, teachers and parents all create rules for us to abide by, but only you control your thoughts. You think thoughts all day long that no one else knows about or has any control over.

YOU are in control.

It may not feel that way if you have a busy or racing mind that’s constantly running between what’s wrong, what’s not done and what’s still left to do. If this is the case for you, I want to acknowledge you. Bless all of our hearts.

Our minds are negatively focused, and will be until you take the steps to begin to turn it around. You have that power and that control. You just have to exercise it.

I heard someone say the other day, “that’s just the way I am.” I hear ya. I have said that many times myself.

But, it doesn’t have to be the way you are. You can change. Everyone can.

The things I used to say “that’s just the way I am” about were generally things I wasn’t proud of and that didn’t bring me joy or make me a good and happy person. For instance, being impatient, judgmental, superior/self righteous or holding grudges for years longer than necessary.

We’ve all felt these things. We’re human.

Welcome to the human race!

But, the beautiful part of being human is that we’re in control. We are where we are evolutionarily speaking because of our ability to change our minds. To think of and see things from another perspective.

The best way to change a negative perspective is to release the stressful energy that’s causing it. Notice when you’re feeling bad/mad where you feel it in your body. Set aside your very good reason for being so upset, resentful or afraid and let yourself be with what you’re feeling physically in your body.

That physical sensation in your stomach, back, knee, chest/heart, throat or jaw is what keeps those old emotions present in your body and mind. But, if you can stop telling yourself that old worn out story that keeps bringing the anger and resentment back up you’ll have an easier time releasing it.

It’s actually not difficult at all. It’s a very simple process that works every time to help you to relax and release the ever present stress you feel in your body.

And, what’s better than that? When you release the stress, the situation changes.

You find you’re not so angry, upset or worried anymore and then you suddenly realize or see another view point that was previously unavailable to you. The person, situation or just the thing you needed shows up in perfect time.

But, if what you want doesn’t happen immediately, don’t get discouraged. Learning to exercise control over our own lives and emotions will take some practice. After all you had to crawl before you could walk, right? Anything worth doing takes a bit of your time and effort. Especially if it will change your whole life, don’t you think?

“We’ve had a great first half. Now, what’s important is who’s gonna handle their emotions.”
~Gregg Popovich
Coach of San Antonio Spurs, 2014 NBA Champions

Who’s gonna handle their emotions?

This is the cornerstone of control, in your daily interactions and your life. And how do you control your emotions? By moving the stress energy physically in your body when it comes up.

At first you might have to walk away or stop and count to ten or breathe ten deep breaths, do that. It’s always worth it.

The person who control’s their emotions, is in control. Always. Notice the next time you see someone throwing a fit or acting out of anger. Recognize how out of control they are. In the midst of this you can breathe through any upset and have a calming and centering effect on the situation.

So, if you want more control over your life, begin to control the small things you can control. Firstly, your thoughts and emotions. As you practice and get better and better at it, you’ll notice a huge shift in the world around you. Possibilities and opportunities present themselves and things you’ve been concerned about will begin to take care of themselves.

Sending you much soothing, peace, ease and flow on this day of our great nations independence.

Now get out there and control yourself!! 😉

Love and blessings for a safe and happy week-end,
Crystal

Photo Credit: Be What’s Possible FB Page – Thank you!