Be Your Own Valentine

Be Your Own Valentine!

Be Your Own Valentine!

This time of year, whether coupled or not, many find ourselves longing. Society, media and big business have a lot riding on your not feeling happy and complete. If you’re constantly longing, you’re constantly buying. The next biggest thing… new car, new clothes to keep up with the latest fashion, whatever it takes to feel better.

Many folks spend this time of year wishing for someone to love and adore them, even when they may already have someone who does.

We all want someone who will understand us, treat us with kindness, compassion and always appreciate our eccentricities.

Though we think we want it from other people, who we really need it from is much closer. The single most important relationship we will have in our entire lives is with ourselves.

Your true and perfect partner is you. The way you treat yourself in the quiet of your own mind will be directly reflected in your outer life and circumstances.

Too many of us spend our lives waiting for that perfect someone to soothe us and care for us in the way we want and need to be cared for. But, actually giving ourselves what we need is the quickest way to create it in our outer life reality.

No matter your past or how your life has been up until this point, things can change and you can have what you want.

When you find yourself feeling vulnerable, soothe yourself. Allow yourself to be reminded that we are all fragile human beings that spend way too much time in our heads and not enough time in our hearts (bodies).

Take yourself out to dinner. Run yourself a bubble bath and get yourself your own favorite treat. Spend time physically soothing and pampering yourself.

Do this for yourself. Be kind and compassionate in your mind when you need support and the universe will respond accordingly. If you are critical of yourself and others, you will find the world to be a very critical place. Begin finding beauty in everyone and everything you see and that too will be reflected in your world.

Taking the time to appreciate what you currently have while daydreaming about what you want and visualizing things that please you will yield profound results.

Rather than chocolate or flowers this Valentine’s day, give yourself the gift that will change your life. Be your own best friend. If you need help get it. Let life be easy. Learn to support and uplift yourself and you will be amazed at what happens in your world. I’m here to help.

Taming The Voices Webcast

After a hiccup in the beginning, Roxanne and I got connected.

Here’s the video…. 🙂

Check out Roxanne at her site: http://inthetransition.com/

Follow her on Twitter – @divinerox

Taming The Voices In Your Head with Roxanne Darling – Part 1

Living Through Loss

Winter Sky

Winter Sky – Looking up through the trees in Washington Park, Portland Oregon.

It’s happened. You’ve lost a loved one. The relationship you thought was forever is over. The job you once loved so dearly is no more. Tragedy, personal or global. The major occurrence in your life you think will be the end of you. It won’t.

You will get over it. You will feel better. Life will be OK again. You will be happy. You will find joy in the memories. You will breathe freely with light and easy breaths. Your heart will sing. Your mind will be at ease. You will feel inspired and joyous. You will feel peace in your heart.

But, in the mean time…

Soothe yourself physically first. The shock of such a loss is hard on our hearts, minds and bodies. Begin to do the easiest things first. Move your body to take care of yourself. Breathe deeply, often. We rarely use our lungs to full capacity, instead we take shallow, shorter breaths. Notice your breathing rhythms and let yourself take slower, deeper, more cleansing breaths. Just doing this will also help slow your mind down and relax. Tell yourself you’ll think about it later. Right now, allow the energy in your body to move and flow on through with as much ease as you can.

As soon as is possible(and as often as you need to), put on your robe or most comfortable pj’s and straighten up your space. Light some candles and put on some soothing music. Sit in your most comfortable chair or lay down on the couch, get a blanket if you’re cold. Curl up or wrap your arms around yourself and breathe. Notice how your body is feeling. Lightly “check in” with your entire body. Start with your toes and work your way up.

Getting into your body and out of your head is the key short-cut.
When you “think” about what you feel, it/the feeling, never goes away.
When you feel what you feel, it can move rather quickly.

Allow yourself the sadness. Cry until you stop, and you will. Breathe into the grief (anger, hurt) you feel in your heart, stomach or throat. Feel where you feel it and breathe. Allow yourself to just physically feel the sensations in your body. When you feel yourself tightening your stomach, relax it and breathe. Just notice where the feelings are and also notice how the physical sensation moves when you focus on it. Feel the tightness relax and move up, notice the relief you feel after a big yawn. You are moving the energy. Let it take as long as it takes. If it’s quick, great. If it takes a while, no big deal. This was a big experience and you deserve your own loving kindness, care and compassion.

Give yourself a moment to fully experience your experience. Give yourself permission to feel every feeling you ever have without judgment. Intend now to consciously soothe yourself in the quiet of your own mind. Remind yourself it is all going to be ok and better than that, it’s perfect.

Life is always working out for you and just because you don’t understand this right now, doesn’t mean you won’t. It just means you need to allow yourself to be where you are in your experience. With experience comes knowledge.

It will all be clear one day. Relax in that knowing. The better you get at moving the energy physically in your body the quicker the clarity comes. It’s only our minds that tell us something is wrong. Our physical bodies are instruments of communication between ourselves and our source. Learn to control your mind (and it’s propensity to focus negatively) and your ability to hear, know and understand those communications increases exponentially.

I send so much Love and Many Blessings to each and every person struggling with loss today and every day. I am holding the vision for absolute happiness, health, vitality and peace in your heart. You are loved and supported more than you know.

Get Sad, Make A Decision

I wrote an article a while back called Get Mad, Make A Decision.  I wrote about finally getting tired of not getting what I wanted and making the decision to do something about it. Finally getting mad enough to say, “OK. I’ve had it. Something is changing NOW.”

What changes now is all up to you. Stop doing that thing that you know you do. Stop letting someone else be your excuse for you not having what you want. Decide what you want and head in that direction. No matter what anyone else says or thinks, this is your life, live it.

Sometimes you have to get mad before you’ll make a decision like that, but sometimes, something happens in your life that doesn’t make you mad, it makes you sad. Things happen in our lives that we don’t understand and from the very sad and hurt place we stand, the greater plan of our lives can be difficult, if not impossible to see. This is when we have to just be sad, and make a decision.

A little over 1 year ago, my sweet wiener dog, Zupe made his transition. He was sick for about a month before we knew it was time to let him go. During that month, we did everything we knew to do energetically and physically to heal and “save” our little dog, but in the end, it was his time. When it finally happened, we were exhausted and devastated. We tried so hard. We did everything we could do. (Some folks won’t understand loving a dog so much, it’s ok.) People have had the same experience with loved ones that have suffered too long. (Or maybe you’ve just lost a relationship or have found yourself at the end of something beautiful.)

I realized as we let Zupe go, that through his passing he was offering us a beautiful gift. Freedom. We all have this opportunity when something this big happens in our lives.

Decide now that you’re going to allow every bit of old energy that no longer serves and uplifts you to move. Let yourself grieve. For the loss of your loved one, for the pain you have suffered, for the hurt of everyone involved. Stay out of your head as much as possible during this time and only feel. Let yourself feel the physical feelings (the sick feeling in your stomach or the intense ache in your heart) of pain, sadness and grief in your body and let them move. Laugh every time you feel like it and rejoice that your loved one is laughing with you. Spend as much time outside in nature as you can and take good care of yourself. Be so kind, compassionate and loving to yourself. Soothe yourself in the quiet of your own mind when you begin to feel upset. Be your own best friend and cheerleader.

Allow yourself the time to feel everything. Don’t try to rush it or think you should already be feeling better. Remember that this too shall pass. One day the memories of your loved one will bring such pleasure and joy, rather than the loss you feel so deeply now.

Love is eternal.  These physical bodies are only a very small part of our whole being… our spirit is always in the non-physical. Death is a misconception. It’s only transition and they are never far away.

As I held Zupe to my chest before his transition, I felt him melt into my heart. I knew instinctively he’d always be there. Never parted from me, but certainly, always a part of me.

Celebrate the joy and freedom our friends and loved ones feel once they’ve made their transition.  Feel the exhilaration they feel being free from the vehicle that finally wore out. Talk to your loved ones daily and listen for the answer in your heart. Remember, when you are thinking about them, they are with you. Don’t feel the separation, feel the love. They are with us, always.

Stare At The Carrot

Don’t you just love it when you get a glimpse of the macrocosm in the microcosm? It is like watching the evolution of our species in the entire process between the first division of our single cell to the complete humans we become. Seeing the really big picture in a very small way or as ordinary part of everyday life.

Last night while fixing dinner, as usual, Oliver (pictured left) gets bites of the veggie being chopped, on this occasion, carrots. He knows it’s coming and waits patiently (or not) to receive them. Dionne tossed the carrots one by one, Oliver dutifully went after.

He missed one.

I stood looking at the carrot from my vantage point and seeing Oliver waiting expectantly in the kitchen, I told him the carrot was over there. (Looking at Oliver…) “Oliver, look over there. The carrot is over there.” (Pointing) Clap. Clap. Snap. “Hey! Oliver! Dude. Look over there!” Lord. This dog. (Actually, he’s a genius, but he does have his moments. I guess we all do. wink)

I looked over at the carrot laying on the rug. I heard, “Stare at the carrot”. It then occurred to me… Alecia Evans, my animal communicator friend says to communicate with your dogs/animals through visualization.  Duh. They get pictures from us. Yes, dogs can understand some words, but mainly they are taking the mental images we are projecting. In my head again, “STARE at the carrot.” OK!

So I thought, “Oliver the carrot is over there!” and I stared at the carrot. Not thinking anything, I just stared at the carrot.  After about 15 seconds Oliver jumped like someone had goosed him and went hot-steppin’ it into the living room. He sniffed around a couple of times and headed straight for the carrot.  Well, well, well.  Again, Duh.

Oliver Stares At Carrot

Keep staring at that carrot!

STARE at the carrot.

Before, I was looking at Oliver and telling him over and over again what I wanted him to know.  But what really worked was me staring directly at what I wanted him to see.  WOW!  Now that’s what I’m talking about people! Yes!  Practical applications in several areas.  I love when that happens. The universe brings us what we focus on. Period. No amount of calling, clapping, snapping and arm flailing makes what we want happen any faster than our pure focus and attention.

I know. I know. It’s not always easy to stare at the carrot. I hear ya. I really do. I’ve been feeling and moving through some big energy myself, and it ain’t all sunshine and roses. But, hear me now and believe me later. It’s all good! Energy is moving. You’ve got to let it move. You really can feel what you’re feeling and still keep your eye on that carrot. (If you can’t on your own, get sessions for help with your particular flavor of resistance!)

Let yourself have the time to really feel what you need to feel. (NOW! Recognize your mind is going to take you on a trip… yeah, yeah, yeah.  Been there, done that. I know what you’re doing. Thank you very much and let it go. The sooner you get bored with that busy mind the better. Then it can serve you rather than yank you around.) Spend some time getting into your body and finding where those feelings reside. Appreciate all of your lower emotions for letting you know you had this vibration going on and there is more power for you to reclaim. Yes! Thank you!

Don’t try to rush out of it. You are where you are and you feel what you feel. You are in the perfect place. Be OK with how you feel. Take the drama out of it. Let yourself really fully embrace that feeling, knowing that the slower and more deliberately you do this the faster it moves. When we try to skim the feeling or judge it, it only lasts longer or comes back later more powerfully. It will keep coming back until you appreciate it and allow it to flow freely on.

Find out what your carrot is (joy, health, vitality, expansion) and keep your eye on it.  If your mind is the problem, recognize it. The sooner you hear it, the sooner you can unhook from it.  Lightly set your intention to release all attachment to it’s endless chatter. If you need help, get it!  This is your life and it is meant to be enjoyed!

Here’s to our soft, easy and laser like focus on everything we want and the beauty in all of it.

Keep staring at that carrot!

Sending Love, Ease and Flow,
Crystal

Thanks Crystal

Thanks for that post Crystal.

I’m going to read it slower later and really digest it!

Here’s a carrot for you:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/c0.0.403.403/p403…

🙂

Love,

Terry x

Staring at the carrot

Thanks, Crystal, this is a great story and I love thinking of “stare at the carrot” to remind me to get focused. You mentioned “bored with the busy mind” too, and I hadn’t really realized that a lot of my thinking actually is quite boring. Recently I have been noticing it more, and choosing to ignore it in favor of feeling yummy. Lots of love and blessings, Grace

Love this!

Just found this, Crystal — and I love the simplicity and clarity of your message. It’s all just so easy (even though we want to complicate it beyond measure), and you convey that in such an effortless, fun way. Yay!!

Wonderful!

Thank you, Crystal, for that reminder to keep staring at our carrots! Much Love and appreciation! Siana

Ah, this new carrot!

Your blog, dear Crystal, came right in good time because I’ve been staring at a new carrot and I must get it! Thank you for your powerful insight!!! Hugs + love, love, love.

Homecoming / Coming Home

I’ve had some full circle moments lately.  I recently went home for my high school homecoming. It has been 21 years since I graduated from Jayton High School.  And for the first time since I was  a very young child, I wanted to go home.  I needed the comfort of my family.  I needed to know that the recent energy I was feeling (previously tied up with them) was indeed old and no longer existed in my life.

Beside feeling the comfort and ease of family and being in my child hood home, I was reminded of how big my home truly is.  I was raised and my family still lives on JD Patterson Ranch, between 2 small towns in Texas.  Returning for homecoming in a town of 513 people is pretty wild, the love and support is amazing.  Political differences, religious differences… no matter.  We all hugged and smiled and squeezed each other laughing.  We kids grew up together, and the elders watched me grow up and I love them, all of them. Then and now.

The other town over, Aspermont is where my mom and grand parents were raised and lived most of their lives.  Anytime we go back, we eat at Hickman’s, the cafe of my childhood.  (chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, yeast rolls or garlic toast, old school salad bar… getting the picture!?? YUM.) As soon as I arrive in town, everyone recognizes me (because I look like my mother and my grandmother) and asks how they are.  Again, politics, religion, any difference at all… never mentioned.

It occurred to me on this trip how important having this community of familiar love and support has been in my life. I have 2 counties worth of folks that think I am pretty darn great and are always glad to see me and hug my neck. I see very clearly how people need it. I am well aware of the stability this network has provided me. Love and Support. I rarely see any of them (maybe once a year?) but they know me and love me and are there, with a smile on their faces whenever they think about me. And vice versa.

When I came home after the weekend.  I was again met with beautiful community.

I am recently rebuilding parts of my life. It feels so good to start fresh. Even if it’s a little scary at first, things always come around.  The unfamiliar can be most unsettling at times. But when I emailed my friends and family (some of which I’ve never seen in person, only spoken to on the phone or through email!) my new contact information and to tell them about this blog, my feeling of being home was even more palpable.  The love and support I have received has been overwhelming and I am more than thrilled at what life has in store for me.

Zupe

Alive and well in the NP. (non-physical!)

My sweet dog Zupe passed away 1 year ago on Oct 8th. He is ultimately what opened me up to the true nature of our lives and the beauty and wonder around us every day.  The energy I allowed to move with his passing flowered my full enlightenment.  The year that followed has been profound.  Vibrations that lay dormant in me (that no longer match my new reality) have come up and been felt.  Over and over again.  Situations I couldn’t believe.  Energy long since forgotten, back again for my feeling.  It didn’t always feel great, of course.  Because that is the way life is, and it’s ok.  I recognized at every turn myself moving old energy. Allowing the discomfort to wash over me and breathing through it.  Nothing to worry about. I’m not going to drown. I stand on solid ground. We all do.

So come home yourself.  To the knowing that all is truly well.

My life is exactly what I make of it.  No one creates in my life and reality. (Thank God!)

It’s just little ole me here.

Being excited about allowing more and more ease in my life and looking forward to sharing it all.

Much Love to you,
Crystal