Busting Out

Crystal Laughing

We all need and do “bust out” from time to time. The thought of our friends becoming new parents makes my heart feel like it will bust out of my chest. Perhaps the job you loved for so long is no longer a match so it’s time to bust out. Maybe we’re busting out because our work project is complete or school is out and it’s time for much needed ease and relief.

Whatever the reason for your last “bust out”, you can see and probably even FEEL the release and relief of busting out. Extracting yourself from a place or feeling that doesn’t seem big enough for you anymore. Something you can’t contain or keep restrained any longer. Busting out, while sometimes uncomfortable, will set you free.

I grew up out in the country on a huge ranch in between two small Texas towns. The people there are good as gold, with hearts the size of our great state, but the minds around there could use a little opening. I’m sure they’d disagree, but I’m a bit different.

Growing up there, you didn’t even realize what a huge world there was outside of our little slice of it. You spend your childhood and young adult life hearing and doing the same things as everyone else around you, not because you wanted to, just because that’s what you did. Most everyone dressed the same and listened to the same music.

We had new kids come in from far away places(like California, ha!) and I would immediately feel sorry for them. They thought they had landed in po-dunk hell. In some ways they had, in others, it was heaven.

I loved growing up and living there, and even today I still love that that is how and where I grew up. So many things I am, know and do are because of my life in that small place, but there is much more to life and me(and you).

What we learn from our parents, communities and society growing up is just that, what we learn, what they knew to teach us, what they knew about life up to that point. But life goes on and we all keep learning.(hopefully)

Folks from my home town do many things… work in the oil field, in schools, they are teachers, coaches and administrators, they are business men and women, parents, stay-at-home moms, and more than a few cowboys. These are all expected, respected, acceptable and appreciated “jobs.”

But how does it work if what you do or your life path doesn’t look exactly like everyone else? What if you have thoughts and feelings that don’t match what everyone else is thinking and feeling? What if your idea of success doesn’t look like what you’ve been taught success looks like? What if your family/friends/community think you need to be, do or have things you don’t really care about? What if they think what you do is a scam or crazy?

Only one thing to do.

Bust. Out.

First let me assure you that you are perfect, absolutely perfect, right now and that everything is absolutely working out for you. The ultimate beauty of this magnificent world we live in is diversity. Variety is the spice of life. It’s what keeps things interesting. Living the life you were meant to live is the most important thing you will ever do for yourself and the world.

You can’t live your life for everyone else forever. Actually, some can and do. If you love it, do it, otherwise stop and do what you love. It’s up to each of us to determine what we want and what will make us happy. If you’re spending all of your time trying to make sure you’re doing things others will approve of you’re missing out on your own true hearts desires.

I lived much of my younger life doing what someone else told me to do. Parents, teachers, bosses and two husbands all to varying degrees determined my existence. Doing what I was told to do and/or what I knew others expected of me was my way of life. It was only after realizing how miserable I was that began to see I didn’t want the same things as everyone else. And that was OK.

Feeling like an alien in your family or community is actually not a bad thing. Take a big step back and have a look at the values, attitudes, ideals and behaviors of the people you feel separated from, do you agree with them? Often times you won’t, and that will be the reason you feel the separateness.

Appreciate everyone and everything that has brought you to right here and now. Know that from right where you are, you can go where ever you want. And this requires absolutely no change on anyone else’s part. They are perfect just the way they are, too.

When we get this concept and begin to appreciate everyone in our lives for their perfect role in shaping who we have and will become, we are amazingly free. No one can ever offend or upset us again.

Learning to live with other people not appreciating or respecting what you do, who you are or how you do things can be an interesting journey. But,ultimately the most rewarding and important journey we’ll ever take.

One day you’ll realize what other people think doesn’t matter and you’ll find yourself giggling. You’ll laugh and laugh about all the times you worried about what someone else might think. Hilarious.

Set your intention now to discover the real you. Intend to truly know who you are, what you do and your benefit to others/society. Many people from your “original tribe” might not really get it or you and that’s OK.

I’m sure you are well aware how people feel about things they don’t understand… many times fearful or dismissive. But, that’s not about you. It’s about them. Bless them and move on.

So, here’s to busting out in whatever way feels best to you. Here’s to you finding your own clearest, strongest voice and the courage to use it.

Find your niche, spread your wings and soar. The world needs more and more people like you… being truly, authentically, happily who you are.

Sending all my love and many blessings. I’m here to help.

Crystal

Seven Day Challenge

Cactus FlowerSome big changes are on the horizon for us. Perhaps for you as well. Maybe things in your life still look like they have looked for a quite a while, but do you feel the change in the air? Notice the change in the air is actually your recent desire for something better.

Whether or not you’re able to see and touch your coming manifestation makes no difference. When you feel it coming is when you start getting excited. Don’t worry so much about what’s around you at the moment. Your job, car, money or relationship situation is only temporary, certainly the way you feel about it is. Big change is on the horizon, all you have to do is relax and be on the lookout, ready to receive it.

How does this work? How do you relax and receive something you can’t see, taste, touch or smell? Well, you’ll start with doing some things to move yourself toward what you want.

My partner, Dionne and I have started a Seven Day Challenge. The premise is this, do the small things you can do to make yourself and your surroundings feel even better before what you want actually shows up. Prepare yourself and your space to receive whatever it is you’re looking for.

Ok, you ask, so change is coming and I’m definitely ready for it, but what can I do to physically move myself toward something unknown and abstract?

To help yourself focus forward on what is coming and let go of the old (you’re ready to see gone,) begin consciously doing things to make your life better and commit to do it for seven days.

Below is a list of four easy things to begin moving you toward a much more satisfying life. Do one or more things on the list every day for seven days. Do at least one per day, but if you do more you will definitely notice a bigger difference. The point of this is to take small, easy steps, so do what feels best and easiest to you. If it’s easy, you’ll do it.

  • Move (your body)
  • Meditate (to clear your mind)
  • Purge (to rid your space of unwanted/unnecessary objects)
  • Organize (to create the harmony in your environment you want in your life)

You may already do these things periodically but doing them often with mindfulness changes everything.

Move – What feels good to you? What do you enjoy? Find an activity and a friend to share it with. It’s more fun with a friend and when you don’t have the motivation they will. Don’t look at what other people do and achieve. Do what feels easiest and best to you in the moment. Dance to music in your living room, chase your dog around your yard, whatever you want, just move and breathe.

Meditate – Spend 5-30 minutes daily sitting quietly. Sit in a comfortable place with your feet flat on the floor, hands comfortably in your lap, take a few deep breathes and then allow yourself to really relax. Let your thoughts roll by (without following them) and just notice how they make you feel. Are you reminding yourself of obligations or deadlines? Are you worrying about an upcoming event? Our brain is like a computer, it’s an excellent tool, but don’t let it run your life. It’s subject to previous programs that are no longer the latest, greatest, updated information. Garbage in, garbage out. Once you begin to recognize the general direction your mind takes, you can re-direct it, but before that happens it’s all too easy to be terrorized and bullied by a busy and negatively focused mind.

Purge – We all have junk we don’t need. Drawers of crap or whole areas of your house that are filled with things someone else needs and could use. If you don’t use it, want it or if it doesn’t make your heart sing, get rid of it. Every object in your home holds energy. Clearing your space not only feels better physically, it is also making the space vibrationally for things you truly want. Donate clothes and shoes to local shelters or non-profits that help folks. Have a garage sale, pay someone to come haul off your old stuff or sell it on eBay. All of the extra stuff cluttering your space could be used and greatly appreciated by someone else. You’ll feel lighter and lighter as you let go and allow others to appreciate and utilize what is currently cluttering up your space.

Organize – Once you’ve gotten rid of what you don’t want, use or need, you can organize what’s left. Being able to easily access things you want, use and need on a regular basis is an absolute joy and the space you reclaim will feel open and fresh. You don’t have to do the whole thing at one time, start small. When you start small and complete the task you give yourself a boost. Notice what little things you could tweak around your house to make it more user friendly.

Side Note: It was amazing to me how long we kept the tea(daily use item) on a higher shelf in the cabinet than some things I rarely use. I would stretch and reach to get a box and three boxes would come tumbling out on my head. Now I laugh each time I easily reach my tea. Any similar situations in your life?

Key Point – Completing small tasks gives you the impetus to do more. Baby steps are the way to go here. When you try to do the whole thing at once it can be demoralizing when you lose steam mid-way through the project. So pick an area, your junk drawer or the cabinet under your bathroom sink and get started. If you already exercise regularly, do it with greater awareness, focus on each muscle group and see it working better, getting stronger. If you already practice meditation great! Add these activities to your life. If you don’t think you know how to meditate or think you’re doing it wrong, think again. Just sitting quietly for 5 minutes is beneficial. Breathing and pulling yourself out of your busy mind will be a welcome respite that turns into a relaxing habit.

The more you do these things the better other areas of your life will get. Your breathing improves, your balance gets better, the pain in your hip/neck/shoulders eases and you feel stronger and stronger, your health is improving. You’ll notice you want to eat healthier and your old go-to junk food will become distasteful to you. You’ll laugh more and you’ll notice your skin looks better, your eyes brighter. Others will notice this too. The pants that were previously a bit uncomfortable now seem to have plenty of room. The promotion you’ve been deserving at work begins to fall into place and you find the perfect contractor to work on your house. The money to pay for the projects shows up on time so you’re able to enjoy the process rather than worry about how you’re going to pay for it.

We are on day five of our challenge and already things are changing.

Our movement has been yoga and tennis. (We got rackets for Christmas and laugh constantly when we play, we’re not great, but that doesn’t matter.) It is fun and we are feeling so excited about life in general. We are sleeping better and our bodies feel amazing. I feel stronger than I ever have and more peaceful daily. We’ve purged and organized four different areas of our home and yard and are ready for more. It was amazing how many things were out of date and easily thrown away/recycled. Reclaiming our space is truly a joy. Isn’t it fabulous how starting small and doing little things causes such great change?

What will we do at the end of day seven? Keep it going!

Get started today on your own Seven Day Challenge and let me know how things are going.

I am looking for someone to support and chronicle their successes through a series of blog posts. If you’d like it to be you contact me below through this handy dandy contact form. Let me know what you want out of your life and we’ll start moving you that direction.

How can I help you get closer to what you want?