The Neighbor’s Cat and Mothers

In honor of the recent Mother’s Day Holiday, I want to send blessings, love and support to all mothers everywhere! A day just isn’t enough for what you do.

September 2020… My neighbor’s cat had it’s 5th litter in my backyard. We’ve lived here for almost 3 years. 

The first three litters, I didn’t know about until kittens began emerging from under our deck, we didn’t yet know momma kitty and she was hiding. The fourth litter, I watched Momma roaming in the cold rain, big and pregnant looking for a safe place.

She’s an “outside” cat and her family backyard has two german shepherds… not an ideal environment for giving birth and raising kittens. So, we fixed up a big box and towels for her in our shed, she had her kittens and a week or so later the neighbor kids came knocking on the door asking for them. I happily handed over the box and asked them to please have her and the kittens fixed. Thank goodness THAT’s over. Ha!

Fast forward to September… 5th litter, 5 more kittens… the teenagers from her last litter still running around all over the neighborhood, we knew we had to get involved. This was not my idea of a good time. I’ve never owned a cat and certainly hadn’t planned on raising kittens. But, the idea of 5 more cats running around motivated me to action. I moved through the initial “don’t wants” and came to a place of more ease around what needed to be done. We would care for the kittens and get them adopted when the time came.

As I came to this decision and began to support this sweet little mother cat, that really had no choice in her life but to have these kittens and take care of them the best she can…. I had a really profound thought. What if I gave her all the love and conscious support… not PERFECT support, but the best and most “aware” support I can provide? Ok. Let’s do this.

She got food, shelter from the cold and rain, and lots of love. It always amazed me how she’d leave the food to receive the love. As I sat and loved on her I thought about the love and support I didn’t receive when I was a young pregnant mother. Though married, I got pregnant at 19 and felt embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t feel as though I deserved help. I had “made my bed” so to speak and didn’t allow myself to ask for or expect the help and support I really needed.

What if, I thought. What if I gave this little momma cat the sweet, tender, loving kindness and support I needed? What if I just do the things I can do without needing to do everything and perfectly?

I think of mothers everywhere that take much of the responsibility, and get most of the blame, having only and ever done the best they could at the time. 

Can you find a similar situation in your life, that you could offer yourself, through action toward another, all that you needed but didn’t receive? Oftentimes we feel we don’t have these things to give but actually, offering what you always needed heals those tender places in ourselves that need the attention.

Realizing and embracing the idea that no mother can do it all, and we all need help, is paramount to our thriving. Also understand that we have always had what we needed, or thought we were lacking, in some form or other. If you think you don’t have your keys but they’re actually in the pocket of the pants you wore yesterday, do you really NOT have your keys? Or are you just not looking in the right place?

Though our children (pets, projects, relationships), every one of our insecurities are able to play out right before our eyes. Our outer, physical, right now reality, is a perfect reflection of our inner struggles. So being aware of this information can help you relax and soften around anything you might currently feel bad about.

ALERT – Unsolicited Parenting Advice!

What I’ve learned is this, take it or leave it. We’re supposed to love, support, teach and enjoy our children to the best of our (human) ability and then set them free to live the life they came here to live, regardless of what we’ve hoped and envisioned for them. And our perfection or being far from it has nothing to do with the success or perceived failures of our children. We all (as individual mind-body-spirit complexes) came here to do what we do, not do what someone else wants or thinks we should do. So, if you’re judging yourself based on what your child has or hasn’t accomplished, you’re missing your own point. And on the other end of that, if your child is judging you for parenting mistakes, they haven’t grown up enough to recognize these truths for themselves. So bless all of our hearts! Let everyone, including yourself, off the hook. We all came here to experience what we’re experiencing and this “choose your own adventure” is just that. You get to choose and so does everyone else.


Not knowing where this “kitten raising road” was going when it started… nearing the end I could see how this, as everything, was a lesson in letting go. (of old stories, ideas, energy, people, places or things that no longer serve us)

How to let go and when to let go have been recurring struggles I’ve created/experienced in my life.

From this level of consciousness I let myself feel my way through it without judgment or rush. “I’ll know when I know”… is what I tell myself. Because, as I have often experienced, there always comes a time when I’ve had enough and I am ready, willing and able to go through whatever I have to go through, to get where I want to be. 

Support for Mothers

We, as women and mothers (and of course some men), love our children, spouses, family and friends so much that we’ll give it all, everything we have, to someone unwilling or unable to give us what we need in return.

If you find yourself there, just BE there. Don’t struggle. Relax. Breathe. Right where you are. Feel what it feels like physically in your body to experience what you’re experiencing. Don’t think about anything. Stop and breathe. Whatever it is. It can shift. 

If we let “what is” BE, and turn our attention to a subject (or object, such as my neighbors cat and her 5 kittens) that is pleasing, relaxing, playful, fun, sweet… we can let things shift. That doesn’t mean we’re not attending to what needs attending to, it means that we’re creating our reality by selectively focusing on things that please and ease us in moments of frustration about another subject. And from the knowing/understanding of “you get what you focus on”, that’s a darn good tactic.

The name of the game is relaxation. If you are relaxed about something, you’ll not struggle against it and it can more easily turn out how you want, or in such a way that you’re easily able to flow with. We wanted our neighbors to have their cat fixed but we didn’t want to approach it from a place of frustration or judgement. Great!

How can you relax about what’s happening or “could” happen? (Is the cat pregnant again!? NO!) Keep breathing and feel through the sensations of the emotions surrounding the upset.

Can you catch yourself in a moment when you’re wanting something good to happen but are actually PLANNING on something bad happening? Just being aware that you’re doing this begins to shift your perception of what’s actually happening.

Resolution!

The kittens have been adopted, yes! And here I sit feeling the familiar painful feeling of letting go. Knowing this is the way. The natural way of things. Heartbroken, but full of hope for these sweet babes to have happy lives. We did the work, physically, emotionally and energetically/ vibrationally. It wasn’t necessarily easy, but knowing what we know, totally worth it.

Fast forward 8 months, Momma kitty got pregnant again, and had her 6th and final litter in our shed. This time though, when the neighbor kids came knocking on our door and I carried Gracie (we finally learned her name) and her 4 fat and healthy kitties next door and deposited them in our neighbors home, we were thanked so sweetly for caring for them and assured she would be fixed. YES, please and thank you. What a blessing.

We walked home filled with love and bursting with joy at the way we allowed this scenario to play out. Our sweet neighbor kids get to have the experience of raising these kittens and taking responsibility for them. It was a beautiful interaction.

So, for me, the big movement around some really tender, personal, old pain and upset in regard to my own young parenting experience was played out through the journey from irritation, upset and judgment around caring for my neighbors cat into understanding, acceptance and appreciation for each experience, mine and hers.

When we can withhold judgment and just allow ourselves to experience what’s in front of us magical things can happen. Life is happily exposing us to our limiting beliefs for our own benefit. It’s our own free will choice to take it or leave it.

Happy Friday, my friends.

I myself, will take it.

All my love,
Crystal

Easy Does It

Let life be easy.

Let life be easy.

Does life run pretty smoothly or are you always asking yourself, “Why do I have to struggle and fight for everything I have!?”

I spent quite a few years of my own life asking that question. Along with… “Why can’t things be easier for me?”

Fortunately, asking myself those questions helped move me toward an easier life.

After reading Florence Scovel Shinn’s books in my early twenties, I knew what she said was true. We really are guiding our own lives with our words, thoughts and deeds.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that we hold struggle in such high regard? Have you noticed?

If someone tells you something was easy for them do you immediately think, “well, so what?” or “Of course it was easy for you, everything is easy for you. Jerk” If it was easy, we don’t want or need to hear about it. Tell me what you struggled with and how much crap you had to take and dish-out and wrestle through to get somewhere and I’ll listen. And then I’ll engage you with my stories of struggle and hardship because that is what makes me worthy… my struggle.

Well, I’m here to share a little secret with you.

Life is supposed to be easy.

I know. I know. Some part of your body jumped up and said, “HEY!!! You’re wrong. No fair. I’m struggling and don’t know how not to so you better be struggling too.”

Have you noticed how some people don’t want to hear about or talk to happy people? They’d rather commiserate and complain with you than hear about your triumphs, particularly if your wins came easily without a heavy price. We all want to experience that ease but often feel angry or irritated that it’s out of our reach when someone else demonstrates it.

If you share too much of your easy and happy life you’ll notice some folks around you grumbling, perhaps rolling their eyes at you and mouthing smart ass comments. Bless them, though. Don’t be mad. They don’t even realize what they’re doing.

Bringing more awareness into our lives is the key to letting things be easier. Just notice when you get frustrated hearing about your friends recent engagement, raise or job opportunity.  Don’t be mad at them for having the success OR upset with yourself for feeling less than enthusiastic. Realize you’re just doing what a huge portion of society is doing and let it go. When you begin to be aware of these feelings and physical sensations you can allow them to shift and change the way your own life works.

The problem was this… We’ve been lead to believe that the glory is in the struggle. And for a while, because life was so much more difficult for our parents and grandparents, it was necessary to find and appreciate the glory in the struggle. That was all we knew and making the best of a bad situation was the best we could do.

But, times have changed and our understanding of how the world actually works has changed. We can no longer(though most do) view the world through Newton’s Principia (Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, originally published in 1687).

Classic Newtonian physics posits that everything is deterministic, but quantum physics has proven that nothing is.

Everything is changing, always. And most importantly it’s changing (or not) due to your observation, thoughts and words.

So… Easy does it.

If you don’t understand all of this quantum physics no worries. Just think about the last time you got a new car and then saw them everywhere on the road. I once rented a vehicle that I was unfamiliar with (can’t even remember now what it was… small SUV, H something or other) and the moment I drove away from the car rental place, I saw them everywhere.

Read Pam Grout’s book E-Squared to learn more about how your thoughts create your reality.

When you recognize the truth in all of this and need guidance on how to allow your life to be what you’ve always wanted, I am here for you. Beside focusing on what you want and using your thoughts to move you closer to that, I teach you how to find and feel the energy in your body that allows life to shift quickly and easily.

Purchase a set of 3 sessions today for yourself or someone you know and love.

Find out today how easy life can be.

Much Love to you,

Crystal