You’ve Got To Hand It To Them: But They’ll Take It How They Take It

Check out my latest article, just posted on LinkedIn.We drove out to our favorite river spot yesterday. On the way we stopped at Rusty Rooster to pick up a snack of delicious fried chicken, just like my Granny used to make.

We shared a piece driving down the road…

A few bites into the chicken I handed the piece to Dionne in the way I felt she’d be able to hold it easily and get the best bite, but when she reached for it, she took it in a completely different way than I had handed it to her.

In that moment, I gained a level of clarity on so much of what we do that I had to share it with you.

They’ll take it how they take it.

This is true whatever message, product or service you’re sharing; business or personal. No matter the energy behind what you’re doing, the other person can only perceive that which is in their own vibration and matches their level of conscious awareness.

Years ago, I worked for a person that I loved dearly. I would feel such waves of appreciation for the work we were doing together, I’d be moved send a rave email. In it I’d share all the reasons I was so proud to be doing the work and happy to help and support in any way I could.

I remember on more than one occasion not getting the response I thought I’d get. This person read my heart bursting, absolutely open and loving message and took it the wrong way.

Instead of hearing what I was genuinely saying they took it as a sign I wanted more power, money or recognition. I would never have turned down more money, of course, but those were never my intentions. I was simply sharing my moment of joy and appreciation.

So what’s the solution?

How do we make sure our message falls on open ears and arrives with our true intention intact?

First, feel through the physical sensations of upset or irritation any misunderstanding might have caused. Where is it? In your heart, stomach, throat? Resist the need to explain or defend yourself. They couldn’t hear you anyway. Recognize the other person is receiving this information through their own level of consciousness and no amount of research or hard facts will change their mind in the moment.

We all view the world through the very personal lenses of our positive or negative encounters. Our deepest fears and worries are what cloud our daily life experience. Move through this discomfort physically in your body to align your energy with those that can hear your message and will resonate with your business or service. You aren’t trying to reach everyone, just the ones that need what you’re offering.

Appreciate these ‘outages’ in the moment for the good information they are. Learn to acknowledge the upset you’re feeling physically as the thing keeping you from your perfect alignment. Let yourself feel through it without judgment or justification (or the stories of WHY you’re upset to begin with) and you’ll get even more clear about what you want to say or share or even how you need to re-direct your focus and efforts.

When we begin to recognize bad feelings or momentary “misses” as actual opportunities to move ourselves closer to what we want, then there’s never a problem, merely another potential solution.

Finding Your Flow

Have you ever been presented with an opportunity that obviously worked well for others but you immediately assumed was no good? Or maybe it felt good in the beginning but soon your mind had you convinced that it was a mistake and wouldn’t work out.

In each of these situations we have the opportunity to feel through our initial response to get to the truth of the matter for ourselves. Not what someone else thinks is right, but what WE feel is right for US.

What works for you won’t necessarily work for others and vice versa.

If you’re not connecting with your ideal client or customer, where’s the outage? Is it the way you feel about your offering or the way you feel about presenting or sharing your information?

Either way is no problem. By first being aware of what’s happening you have the opportunity to make adjustments, but they’re not the adjustments you might think.

More important than SEO, content marketing or Facebook ads, aligning your energy to feel good about what you’re doing is paramount to having a successful business. When you are in alignment, advertising is just icing on the cake. Word of mouth will become your greatest advertising tool and any money spent on marketing and ads will yield a higher ROI.

You can still do what you do, but you’ll be doing it in a way that reaches the people you are most excited to help and they will be happy to have found you.

What are the obstacles you bump up against on a regular basis? Where do you physically carry your anxiety, upset, irritation or grief?

When you realize this powerful and important information is available to you right now you can utilize it to create the shift and momentum you need for living the life you’ll love. You don’t have to do it like everyone else. You just have to do it the way that works best for you.

What do you think? If you’re reaching your target audience easily, what are your best tips? If you aren’t, what do you feel is standing in your way?

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Crystal Nuding is a leading edge thinker and stress management expert whose message of soothing and uplifting has helped people around the world. With no religious or spiritual affiliation, she encourages personal fulfillment through self acceptance and empowerment helping people release themselves from suffering, struggle and self-limiting beliefs. https://crystalnuding.com/about-crystal/

Take It Back

Tree And Ivy

I first wanted to start a Take Back The Weather campaign.

Listening to the radio, I heard John Aielii on Eklektikos mention how no one believes the weather man anymore when rain is in the forecast and everyone just expects no rain. Also, watching the thermometer hit 93 degrees yesterday before we’ve even gotten into Spring made me really think about what I want to see “weather-wise” in my life.

I took a big deep breath and let it go.

When we stop looking at life in terms of what we like and don’t like
we have a lot more peace in our lives.

It was, however, very clear to me that it is time to take it back.

Whatever “it” is for you, that maybe you think you don’t have anymore or that someone might have taken from you, take it back. Your youth, confidence, joy, abundance, happiness, vitality, satisfaction… all of these things are still here for you to experience. Regardless of your financial situation, age, gender or social status, your life is your own creation and can be whatever you want it to be.

Decide to focus positively in the direction of what you want.

So, I want milder temperatures and more rain this Spring and Summer here in Texas. How can I go about changing the weather?

For starters, I am going to stop complaining about it being so hot and dry. I will notice when I see rain in the forecast and feel confident and excited about it’s arrival. When I want to say, “Damnit, it’s hot out here”, I will instead say, “It looks like rain!” I will allow myself to feel the physical sensations in my body that come up when looking at evidence to the contrary.

Reality is only temporary, don’t get too bogged down in it.

As I allow myself to focus on what would please me instead of pointing out an obvious irritation, my mind will begin to look for more pleasing things. Our negative focus is only a habit that can be changed like any other. Small steps make the biggest progress.

Decide today to move toward what you want. Here are some statements to help you get started…

  • I will consciously cultivate what I want to see, hear, feel and experience by telling myself it’s on its way. (Everything you want is truly on it’s way to you, release resistance and allow it in.)
  • I will allow myself to feel and move the physical sensations that arise in my body when I am faced with a situation that doesn’t please me.
  • I will start talking about what I want and looking for evidence of its arrival.
  • I will focus on what makes me happy and brings me the most joy.

Take a deep breath and feel the possibility. We live in a miraculous world that has the ability to bring to you all you require or desire. Feel the simplicity of focusing on the wanted as a way of life.

Arguing for your limitation will never get you what you want. Supporting yourself in your mind while moving the energy in your body is the quickest route.

If you are ready to take back your life and need some direction. I am here to help.

Let’s talk.

Much Love,
Crystal

Life is a Roller Coaster

Purple Star

My life completely turned upside down(fabulously!) in October. I was freshly on my own and wondering how it was all going to work out.  Financially supporting myself fully (without a “job” with a paycheck) for the first time in my life was nerve racking and exciting all at the same time.

It took months actually before I really realized how stuck I was in my thinking.

Years of doing things the way other people want them done can take a toll on you. You begin to think that someone else might actually know what you should do better than you. Wrong.

It took me a minute to get here, but here I am! Life is good and exciting and things are moving along nicely.

Creating the space for my success has been something I’ve been doing for a while now.  Allowing myself to move through the nervous/habitual energy when it comes up and not getting into some dramatic story of what’s happening and why and who is wrong or right. I let the energy move and it always works out.

Everything is always working out. Always.

The grip of “what’s going to happen” can be strong, but I always know it will work out. We humans do so love the drama.

And boy did it work out!

Today I have a small office in South Austin (by appointment only) and a thriving practice doing most of my sessions over the phone or via Skype. The money is coming, steadily and surely. I am now working with several businesses and many individuals creating great results.

I wrote a short eBook, 4 Tips for Living a Happy Life you can get for free by signing up for my Be Soothed and Uplifted newsletter or you may purchase it on Amazon Kindle. I’ve gotten great feed back which has spurred me on toward the completion of my next book in progress, Navigating Your Life.

A few months ago, I didn’t know how it was going to work or what it would look like. That amount of uncertainty leaves our minds all kinds of room for speculation and we do have a choice on which direction we speculate.

I did not fantasize about being broke or not being able to make it or having to get a “real job” that doesn’t burst my heart and make me happy. I didn’t freak out and call everyone telling them my problems and worries.

What I did do and still do(all day everyday) is allow myself to feel what I feel about everything and soothe my mind if it gets too busy over anything it thinks might need to be fixed.

I spend time doing the things I am inspired to do and feeling good about what I have done.

Things that show up, I deal with. Like when the heating element went out in my oven. I could have gotten upset and raised hell and complained about the “great timing”, but I didn’t.

What I did do was appreciate the opportunity to care for something that means a great deal to me and the people for whom I cook. I called a friend who knew about such things, got the part number and website to order it. When the part came in, the oven got pulled out, cleaned thoroughly, part replaced and something was cooked immediately.

My appreciation for my appliances and all of the things that make life so simple and easy is overwhelming. We’ve lived here for 10 years with no trouble so it was my pleasure to give some time and attention to the machine that has provided 1000’s of meals to family and friends.

Decide how you want to live your life and start moving that direction. Give yourself the soothing and support you need to live your best, easiest and most relaxed life. We didn’t come into this world to struggle for someone else’s wants, desires and wishes.

Give yourself a moment to think about what you want. What does your body tell you about those thoughts? Do you feel a “whatever dude!” in your stomach, or “not likely” in your chest. Maybe you feel that lump in your throat that says it’s not safe to express your own true self. Those “bad” feelings are a sign of beliefs you hold that don’t support you. The beauty is, once you realize this, the feelings can be felt, the energy moved and more supportive beliefs embraced.

A belief is just a thought you keep thinking, whether it’s true or not.

I’m here to tell you, enjoy the roller coaster, it’s all ok. And better than that, it’s great. Your true purpose in this life is to be happy; the feelings are showing you where to start. Those feelings in your body were never meant to stick around forever, they want to move and I can help.

Where in your body do you carry your nervous energy?
Heart/chest, stomach, jaw/throat?

Those feelings can move and when they do, you will feel relief and freedom. I’m here to help.

Much Love,
Crystal

Taming the Voices in Relationships

Our discussion last week with Roxanne was about taming the voices in relationships. It’s easy to think that other people should act appropriately so as to not upset us, but trying to control someone else’s behavior is futile. As all the parents reading this will surely agree! The only thing we truly have control over is ourselves. It might be more difficult to exercise at times, but our own behavior is the only thing we can control.

Relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives and truly help expand us into the people we will ultimately become. Allowing ourselves to feel what we feel helps us begin to make better decisions about how to handle difficult situations. When you’re in the heat of the emotion it’s more difficult to come to a peaceful resolution or even see that one is available.

Noticing how others behavior makes us feel is a great way to see “where we are”. Am I allowing my day, week or even months(years?) of my life to be ruined(affected, colored, marred) by what I think someone did to me? If the answer is yes, I have to make the decision to let it go.

We must give ourselves a break from blaming and complaining and focus our energy on what we want rather than the circumstance that caused our upset. We alone decide our day to day focus and I’d be willing to bet the person that upset us isn’t giving it a second thought. We must not give up our here and now, ripe with pure potential, to lament something that is over. (And PS… even if it happened yesterday, IT’S OVER.) Make the decision to move forward and start heading that direction.

Let’s all give ourselves a break which allows us to move through our initial reaction and begin to see that better things are lining up. My job as a Consciousness Coach is to help you relax into your feelings and not take things so personally (or seriously!). I help folks find the energy in the body and move it for increased clarity and calm in their lives. It’s all ok. Everything is going to work out. We are exactly where we’re supposed to be doing just what we’re supposed to be doing, otherwise we’d be somewhere else doing something else.

Relax and let the perfect situation unfold. When I was a little girl my Great Grandaddy Patterson told me not to worry about falling off my horse… the ground would catch me, he said. I didn’t appreciate that advice then as I was well aware how hard the ground could be. But as an adult and knowing what I know now, I am giggling recalling his gruff manner.

Life will always catch us, when we’re struggling against things that ground can be pretty hard, but when we relax and allow ourselves to flow with ease and grace, resisting nothing… we bounce.

Part 1 

Part 1 Continued

Mind Control

Our minds can tell us some pretty scary stories. Most of which there is NO actual evidence of, mind you, just general or very specific scary thoughts, stories or ideas. (As a mother, I know I’m not alone in wanting to wash my brain after flashes of ridiculous thoughts about the safety of my child.) They could stem from the news, a friend, the radio or maybe just bubbled up all by itself from our little brain. At some point we have to recognize these negative thoughts flowing from our minds are…. #1 – not who we are, #2 – not helping and #3 – not true.

Our brains are machines, pre-programmed to focus on and ferret out what is wrong in every situation. It’s as if our minds are a self-defense mechanism for our species. It served us well thousands upon thousands of years ago, but not so much today. No big deal. Just decide to begin seeing things from a different, lighter perspective, there is always a bright side. Set your intention to recognize when your mind is trying to “sell” you something and don’t buy in. Sure there are things out there we don’t like, but our attention to them only gives them energy, makes them bigger and more powerful. What you focus on expands.

Once you begin to grasp what this means, your life will change rapidly and easily.

When I observe people around me upset about what they are seeing in their own reality (everyone’s is different!) and talking about it being so bad, I wonder… What do you think is happening with each word that comes out of our mouths, speaking to the contrary of what we want?  I’ll tell you what’s happening, more and more of what you don’t want is being generated and “shipped out” to you for your experience, like you just placed your order on Amazon.com. It’s even free shipping! Yep, step right up folks and talk all you want about what you don’t want, don’t like, think is wrong and feel so strongly about and MAKE NO MISTAKE the universe will put more and more of that on your delivery truck. We live in a Law of Attraction based universe, whether you know or understand it or not. It WILL show up in your world. Trust me, I know. I also know it’s all too easy and feels too good to bitch, moan and complain about how things are wrong, wrong, wrong and this world is going to hell in a handbag! (Oh, and get someone on that bandwagon with us, that always feels better. ha.) Guess what, I’ve done it before myself. But, none of that changes anything.

What does change everything is letting go.

Let go of your attachment to all of your thoughts and everything you think. Stop worshiping at the alter of your negative thoughts. They don’t control you. YOU control them. Make the decision right now to stop being so romanced by negativity. Notice what you feel in your body when you’re focusing negatively on something. Soothe yourself and let that feeling pass. Now, focus on something more pleasing. If you can focus on what you want and it feels good, great! Do that. Or focus on your beautiful view, or awesome pet, or fun family, or great partner or exciting up coming adventure. Focus on something that feels good and makes you laugh and feel happy.

What you want is on it’s way to you. The larger part of who you are, knows exactly what you want and wants you to have it. And furthermore is doing all it can within the confines of your attitude to bring it to you. All you need to do is quit focusing so much on what’s wrong and start looking around at what is great about your life. There is plenty. This vast and wondrous universe that created us all to have our own individual personalities and desires is more than capable of creating the outcome you want. And you having the outcome you want doesn’t have to come at the expense of someone else. There is enough for everyone.

Rather than trying to make the world look exactly like you want it to, what if you concerned yourself, mainly, with how you feel? What if we went for happy and healthy, rather than “I have to be with this specific person, in this specific town, doing this work, specifically.” What would be the big tragedy if you actually went for happy before the relationship, job, house, etc? You can be. Just decide that you want to be happy and begin moving in that direction. If you need help, get it. This is your life! Enjoy it to the fullest.

So the next time your mind serves up a big heaping helping of fear/doom/gloom, pass.

Put Me In Coach

Beautiful PK Sunset

We took a road trip this weekend to the lake (Possum Kingdom Lake, in Texas). The sunsets are always beautiful. It’s a nice 4 hour drive. Far enough to make you feel like you’ve gone somewhere, but not so far that it takes up your whole weekend getting there and back.  While driving, we talk, sing or sit in peaceful silence.  It feels so good to really unwind and relax after a full week.

The song Centerfield, by John Fogerty came on. Clap. Clap. ClapClapClap. Clap. Clap. ClapClap. I was immediately taken back to my childhood, riding in my Daddy’s pickup truck windows down coming home from school, singing this song and realizing it was about baseball.  I smiled at myself and sang along. “Put me in coach, I’m ready to play today. Look at me, I can be, centerfield.”

I then thought of my days of playing basketball in high school.  Taking a breather on the bench and then being ready to jump back into the game. Watching the action and seeing what the other team is doing and realizing what the next move could be. Leaning down the bench and saying to Coach Courtney, “Put me in Coach, I’m ready to play”.

I miss that. Playing basketball on a team. The flow of the game.  The hard sprints, juking and defending, falling down and getting back up, passing the ball or taking the ball to the basket when it’s right. It’s a game and we play it with our friends and teammates.  Some of them are our best friends, but some we may not fully appreciate. (there is always something to appreciate) But the point is we are a team and our objective is doing our very best and hopefully the outcome will result in a win. (but if it doesn’t, the fact that we all did our best is a win)

I love that about sports. It brings all kinds of people together. Money, political party, social status (hilarious) or race all unimportant, we’re on the same team. And we ARE on the same team. The human team. It’s a really fun game to play when you don’t take things so seriously.

No matter what you are faced with, it’s not that bad. Certainly not as bad as your mind (and the news) might be telling you it is. Death is a transition back into the bliss of the non-physical. (for everyone) So, nothing to fear there. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. When you can allow yourself to be with the pain for just a moment, it can go away. But our minds wrap us up in the story over why and how bad it is. This does nothing but perpetuate the situation. Bless our hearts.

Relax and breathe. Forget about the situation for a minute and let your self have a moment of peace. Feel what you feel and allow yourself to move through it. These feelings of upset and hurt don’t have to last forever. It’s only our mind that keeps bringing them back up and our inability to just sit and be with the feelings that doesn’t allow them to move on out. Like water off a ducks back… feel what you feel and move on. You can do it. Talking about or focusing on what you don’t want only creates more and more of that in your life.

If things don’t go the way you want, say, “Oh well, what’s my next move?” This is the game of life. Get up every morning, ready to play, ready to do your best at whatever you do. Ready to focus on what’s working and let go of what’s not. Great coaches don’t point out our shortcomings and then drone on about them, they point us in the direction we need to go. Guiding us toward what and where to focus to make our game better.

Let your awareness be that great coach. Let what you don’t want be an easy reminder that there’s something better to focus on. If you don’t want to be sick, focus on your health and all the ways you feel good and are healthy. Learn how to play the game. How many times have we heard that? Life is a game too, you know. You get to choose how you’re going to play in every moment. Are we going through Door #1 filled with fear and negativity, or will we choose Door #2 that is full of possibility, ease and potential. Your attitude and focus are everything.

Don’t let things that are out of your control ruin your here and now. Your life and how you feel everyday is what is truly important. We have full control over that with our focus and intention. Find the bright side and focus on it. A wise man once told me that life is 10% what God gives you and 90% what you make of it. (Thanks Daddy for starting me on the road to my enlightenment!) Attitude is everything.

What are you making of your life? Are you letting your own focus make you unhappy or letting situations outside of yourself determine how you feel? Are you listening to things that upset you and make you mad? Turn it off. Focus on what’s good in your life right now. No one has power over you. You are the creator of your own life through your focus and intention. Intend now to be happy. To allow energy to move freely, naturally. Intend to spend more time appreciating and less time criticizing. Soothe yourself in the quiet of your own mind. Tell the story of what you want and see what happens.

This can seem at first much easier said than done, but I am here to tell you that life is good and it only gets better. You can figure this out on your own, or you can get help if you need it. I’ve been there and am fully aware of all the tricks your mind (the devil) likes to play on you. I can soothe you and help you get a better perspective. There is always a better perspective. Recognize your own power in your life and embrace it. It may seem scary at first, but who better to determine your future than you. It can be whatever you want. It’s never too late and there is no such thing as a missed opportunity.

Get excited about life. You can be your own great coach, it just takes a little practice. Everyone starts somewhere and where you are is perfect. Abraham once said that behind every great athlete is a great coach that saw their potential before they were able to see it themselves.

And that person for you, is me.

I love you so much,

Crystal