Giving Thanks

What a wonderful holiday, Thanksgiving. I hope you all had fantastic meals and good quality time with the people that mean the most to you.

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday. This holiday isn’t about spending money and buying a bunch of gifts, it is about appreciating and enjoying what you already have. Spending time in the presence of the family and friends that make our lives beautiful.

Dionne, Al, Joycie Bear & Crystal

Dionne, Al, Joycie Bear & Crystal – That sun is bright!

This Thanksgiving, as with most, I cooked for my Grandparents – Joycie Bear & Al, my mom, my sister Johanna, partner Dionne and my son, Quentin. We had a local organic meal this year using veggies from my Greenling local basket, and a free range turkey from Richardson Farms (which I ordered through Greenling as well, YAY, YUM and Thank you!)

When I was a little girl, I would wait all year to eat my Joycie Bear’s Thanksgiving dinner and now as an adult, I wait even more anxiously to cook it for her. I learned to cook from her and her mother, my Granny. I felt the absolute love they had for me in every tasty bite. It was a gift I am driven to pay forward to everyone I can. I LOVE to feed people.

My grandmother, Joyce, is the most precious woman in the world. Strong (though she doesn’t see it) and quiet, she has been the rock in our family. She is kind, loving and compassionate, willing to help anyone who needs it and has been a steady beacon of support and love throughout our (at times tumultuous) family history.

I spent my Thanksgiving exactly how I wanted to this year. I was not working for someone else worrying about sales, money or deadlines. I planned the meal, cooked and cleaned my house, all the while bursting with love and appreciation, preparing my home to host my sweet family. I said about a million times, “I’m so happy to be me! Thank you God for putting me here on this earth at this time with these fantastic people.”

I love who I am and where I am and what I’m doing. I appreciate my life so much and the people with which I choose to fill it. Nothing is missing. It’s all here. Perfectly imperfect in every moment.

Do I have everything I’ve ever wanted? No. Is anyone’s life ever completely, 100% exactly what they hope for? Probably not often, but there are always so many things to love and appreciate.

What do we want and why do we want it? These are the only 2 things we should ever concern ourselves with. We could write a novel about what we don’t want or what’s wrong. We can blog about our troubles and issues and tell everyone we know how sick we are or our child is, but that never makes those problems go away. To the contrary, it only spotlights them and adds more energy to the situation, expanding it and making it bigger. We must stop chronicling what we don’t want.

Spend more time thinking about what you have to love and appreciate and less time worrying about what hasn’t shown up yet. Our focus and attention on what we appreciate and want more of will expand and more of that will make it’s way into our reality.

Throughout my past week of giving thanks, I would laugh as a new wave of appreciation came over me; I wondered how many people felt the same as I. How many of us love the food we grew up on and love even more feeding the wonderful people that fed us for so many years.

I give thanks today and everyday for all of our lives. I give thanks for the joy we are free to feel and share. I give thanks for the kind, compassionate love we are capable of cultivating, and that when we extend first to ourselves, can overflow to all others.

I am overflowing today and each new day with love and appreciation for life and everything in it.

Life is good and life is easy. If it’s not for you, it truly can be.

I’m here to help.

Homecoming / Coming Home

I’ve had some full circle moments lately.  I recently went home for my high school homecoming. It has been 21 years since I graduated from Jayton High School.  And for the first time since I was  a very young child, I wanted to go home.  I needed the comfort of my family.  I needed to know that the recent energy I was feeling (previously tied up with them) was indeed old and no longer existed in my life.

Beside feeling the comfort and ease of family and being in my child hood home, I was reminded of how big my home truly is.  I was raised and my family still lives on JD Patterson Ranch, between 2 small towns in Texas.  Returning for homecoming in a town of 513 people is pretty wild, the love and support is amazing.  Political differences, religious differences… no matter.  We all hugged and smiled and squeezed each other laughing.  We kids grew up together, and the elders watched me grow up and I love them, all of them. Then and now.

The other town over, Aspermont is where my mom and grand parents were raised and lived most of their lives.  Anytime we go back, we eat at Hickman’s, the cafe of my childhood.  (chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, yeast rolls or garlic toast, old school salad bar… getting the picture!?? YUM.) As soon as I arrive in town, everyone recognizes me (because I look like my mother and my grandmother) and asks how they are.  Again, politics, religion, any difference at all… never mentioned.

It occurred to me on this trip how important having this community of familiar love and support has been in my life. I have 2 counties worth of folks that think I am pretty darn great and are always glad to see me and hug my neck. I see very clearly how people need it. I am well aware of the stability this network has provided me. Love and Support. I rarely see any of them (maybe once a year?) but they know me and love me and are there, with a smile on their faces whenever they think about me. And vice versa.

When I came home after the weekend.  I was again met with beautiful community.

I am recently rebuilding parts of my life. It feels so good to start fresh. Even if it’s a little scary at first, things always come around.  The unfamiliar can be most unsettling at times. But when I emailed my friends and family (some of which I’ve never seen in person, only spoken to on the phone or through email!) my new contact information and to tell them about this blog, my feeling of being home was even more palpable.  The love and support I have received has been overwhelming and I am more than thrilled at what life has in store for me.

Zupe

Alive and well in the NP. (non-physical!)

My sweet dog Zupe passed away 1 year ago on Oct 8th. He is ultimately what opened me up to the true nature of our lives and the beauty and wonder around us every day.  The energy I allowed to move with his passing flowered my full enlightenment.  The year that followed has been profound.  Vibrations that lay dormant in me (that no longer match my new reality) have come up and been felt.  Over and over again.  Situations I couldn’t believe.  Energy long since forgotten, back again for my feeling.  It didn’t always feel great, of course.  Because that is the way life is, and it’s ok.  I recognized at every turn myself moving old energy. Allowing the discomfort to wash over me and breathing through it.  Nothing to worry about. I’m not going to drown. I stand on solid ground. We all do.

So come home yourself.  To the knowing that all is truly well.

My life is exactly what I make of it.  No one creates in my life and reality. (Thank God!)

It’s just little ole me here.

Being excited about allowing more and more ease in my life and looking forward to sharing it all.

Much Love to you,
Crystal