Fall in Love With The Process

We’ve spent much of the last week in our back yard and garden enjoying the beautiful weather and stirrings of Spring. Cleaning up after a long, cold winter can be a daunting task and looking out at the visual devastation our garden suffered after this lingering, freezing winter storm we recently experienced was overwhelming.

The amount of dead to be cut back and put into the compost pile would make you think everything was lost. But, my understanding from many years previous experience, is that this is just part of the process. I can recognize all the work that needs to be done, but not get bogged down in it. I can see that despite appearances, things are working just as they should, not as I would have them. I don’t quickly give up on things that look entirely dead; I have too often seen that spark of life again spring forth when all seemed lost.

So, understanding this process and what I’m dealing with, I pick a task, just one task. Sweep/spray off the porch, vacuum/mulch leaves from a garden bed, buy/mix soil for pots… What seems to be the most easy and obvious task that will make me feel like I’ve really made some progress? What feels good to me? I understand the energy with which I undertake any task will flow forward into my next one.

Start with what feels good for you and they’ll all go that way.

Life is a process. The old saying that life is about the journey and not the destination is so true… and the journey is a process. We’re always in transition, from where we were to where we’re going.

Evolutionarily speaking our brain is here to protect our physical apparatus. So in that respect, notice, our brain constantly pointing out what’s wrong or could be dangerous is our old, caveman response. Long since useful to us, it’s now actually the most important thing we become aware of in ourselves and start to shift.

Science has proven we are influencing our reality by our focus and attention. So, knowing this information, it’s clear focusing on what is bad or wrong will only create more of what’s bad or wrong in our lives. This is a proven fact. It’s how the experimenter influences the experiment. What’s expected is often what we get. What do you expect? Is it what you want?

Whatever I’m facing in my outer physical reality is a direct reflection of my own inner conflict or struggle. If I can honestly accept that power and soften around my own personal struggles, removing my attention from the person or situation I have falsely blamed for all my worries and upsets, I can change my whole world, which includes individuals in it. I don’t force change on those around me, I create it myself by releasing the energy that created the situation in the first place.

Step by step

So, if I understand my thoughts and focus create my reality, then I would want to practice thinking and focusing on the best, most positive, productive solutions and situations I can think of.

And, if I also understand the physical sensations I feel in my body, attached to the emotions, are the reason I might have difficulty releasing the long-running negative or fearful thoughts, then I’d want to learn to relax my body and allow myself to physically feel better so I could easily shift my thoughts to ones more positive, powerful and productive.

This is all assuming we’re willing to let go of our negative attachments to everyone and everything. If my allegiance to or hatred for a group or individual leaves me red faced, chest tight, stomach clenched, huffing and puffing, it’s not good for me. Do I want to be happy or right? Does being right actually make me happy? How can I relax and more easily move through this tightness in my solar plexus, while constantly setting aside my incessant, unhelpful thoughts and support myself mentally? Bless my heart, bless my heart, bless my heart. This is the work.

If you you’re recently beginning your journey of conscious creation and your mind still tends to focus negatively in judgement or fear, relax. Anyone proficient at anything first had to learn about it and then practice. You can do this and it can be easy. Don’t argue for your own limitation. Let yourself think about how great it’s going to be and then move through any doubt you feel arise physically in your body.

This is the process to fall in love with.

This is the ticket to your own personal freedom. You’ve just been given the keys to the kingdom. You can be, do, and have whatever you want. You have the freedom to focus on, think about and create the life of your dreams. No one else is creating in your reality. Other peoples thoughts and opinions only affect you to the extent you buy into and allow them.

You are F R E E. Go forth and be happy, healthy, and prosperous.

If you understand the value of coaching and are interested in soothing and support along this very real journey of conscious creation, I’m here for you. My support is not required, you can do this alone, but it’s always easier and better together. Join me!

New Year, New Year!

Happy New Year! Here’s to 2021 bringing you and yours all good things.

I don’t know about you, but 2020 was very enlightening for me. I got clear on a LOT of what I don’t want, which in turn gave me immense clarity on what I DO want. Yes, please and thank you.

We are right now in a time of enormous contrast as The Great Awakening lifts us through the shift of paradigms. The old way of doing things is just OLD. Jeez. So much of our technology and thinking are absolutely caveman in nature. Though I’m not curious as to why. The freedom inducing information I share with you is simple and releases you (and EVERYONE) from bondage of any type, be it of your own making or by the manipulation of others.

One such type of bondage and manipulation is being attached to outcomes. When you KNOW you’re creating your reality you recognize them as transient, only lasting as long as you give them your attention. When you’re creating your reality, you can allow any situation to look anyway it looks and still turn out in your own favor. Or better than that… for EVERYONE’S highest good. (At one point during Dionne’s journey through cancer she weighed around 87lbs, I was able to see her and still know everything was working out and it did. )

So many times in my life I’ve worried over one thing or another, only to have it work out. Maybe not in the way I initially wanted or expected, but absolutely worked out to my benefit. And even in my victory, often the joy was short lived.

Have you ever gotten what you wanted only to realize it didn’t make you happy?

In my mid 20’s I called it my If/Then syndrome. I realized I kept needing something to happen, then I could be happy.

If this would only happen… then I’ll feel better. Then I’ll be happy. Then I’ll start doing this or stop doing that.”

And most of the time what I felt needed to happen was for someone else to do something differently. Act different, be different.

Ahhhhhh. Bless my heart. Even though I understood the truth of me being the only thing that needs to change on a deep and fundamental level, I continued to have and sometimes casually entertain those if/then thoughts for years; but, at least I had figured out what I was doing.

I didn’t have to make all the changes at one time. I just had to begin noticing when I would say it out loud, and then after more practice, when I thought it. I might get a few sentences into the scenario or replay in my mind and then have to stop myself. Allow myself to breathe and relax, soothe myself about whatever was upsetting me and let myself come down.

The power of acknowledging my own thoughts and making a conscious decision to go or not go with them, came after years of practice. But, it doesn’t have to take as long you might think.

What I’ve found to be most important aspect in freeing ourselves, and by the way, I’ve thought A LOT about this…. is RADICAL HONESTY. You have to be honest with yourself. I mean, really and truly honest. It’s your best bet. You don’t have to be honest with anyone else. But, what I’ve also noticed is, if you ARE truly, radically honest with yourself, you won’t feel the need to be dishonest with other people.

Anytime you feel upset mentally or emotionally or feel any pain physically in your body, ask yourself a few questions. Start with a few deep breaths, give an audible (bless my heart) AHHHHHHH on the out breath. Relax and notice the relief in your body after each breath. Ask the questions I’ve included below and then notice what comes up for you. It’s a good idea to write them down to begin with and then write down your answers. That will be a clear black and white indicator of what direction your thoughts are taking you. When you keep all these thoughts wrapped up tight in the quiet of your mind you can convince yourself they’re smart and good and serving you… even when you know they make your stomach clench and your chest tight.

Whatever your answers are, write them down. You’ll then have a clearer picture of what the core issue is and have a definite and easier place to start.

  • What are my thoughts about the situation?
  • Are they really true?
  • Why do I think that?
  • Are these my own true thoughts/beliefs based on my own experience or did they come from someone else?
  • What emotions am I feeling? Name each and give a number 1 being least to 10 being worst.
  • What are the physical sensations in my body? Name and give a number for each 1 being least to 10 being worst.

Scenario / Emotion / Physical Sensation
This situation / scares me / and I feel it in my stomach.

That exercise in and of itself will give you much more relief than if you just sat around thinking all of these same things. But even more than that, it gives you a road map for moving forward, onward and upward through any difficulties or anxiety inducing situations.

Most of our worst mistakes and errors are made in moments of upset when we speak or act before really assessing the situation honestly within ourselves.

Some people aren’t ready for that level of honesty, even if it is just with themselves. BUT! I know you’re out there. You, who want to let that shit go. YOU who want to move forward in your life and leave behind all of the old thoughts, ideas and habits that have kept you from feeling the way you want to feel and enjoying the health and life you hope for.

My way of moving through the world isn’t for everyone. Some folks still want to blame others for their bad behavior, all while ignoring their own shortcomings and mistakes. Some want to keep talking over and over about things that irritate and frustrate them without first feeling through the energy and acknowledging their own part in creating the problem. This is how the many humans behave, to some extent or another.

Let THEM and YOURSELF completely off the hook. We’re human after all. The great news is… just hearing this new information, and knowing it’s a possibility opens you up to experiencing it.

So, whatever you might think you need this new year, it’s nothing outside of yourself. With a few tools you can get where ever you want to go, from where ever you are, and easier than you think. This new year can be the best new year with just a little effort.

Starting with an earnest desire to be healthy, happy and free from your own crappy thoughts and habits requires you to be radically honest with yourself. And when you do, you’ll begin to understand why you are the way you are and the reasons behind why you do what you do.

You’ll begin to understand yourself and others in a way that eases you off the hamster wheel of blaming and complaining. You’ll not feel the need to protect or defend yourself and will be a softer more forgiving and understanding person. We’re all in this together, by the way; Where we go one, we go all. And as we lighten up, the collective conscious lightens up with us. So even though not everyone can or is willing to do these things, as we move further and further along this path of love and understanding, we’ll bring them with us. We’re shifting our collective momentum out of struggle and anger into ease and flow.

No rush, no pressure, no stress. Relax and allow all to be as it is and it will get better. Struggling to force things to happen only prolong the experience you’re trying to move through. I see people all the time that want to see immediate change or 100% relief from an issue they’ve been creating for years. Understand that it CAN be immediate, but you have to be willing to LET things happen. If you’ll settle for a little better and a little bit better, you’ll soon find things to be MUCH better faster than you realized. Because as we focus on “better” everything in our world changes. So if you start this new year focusing on what’s even better than before, you’ll get things even better than that.

So how about letting this New Year be a really, really New Year? A year in which you let go of asking, “What’s wrong?” and start to ask “What’s going right in your world?” Change the direction of your thoughts, mental focus a little every day by noticing what you’re thinking and feeling. Just notice. Once you begin to notice more quickly, you’ll be able to shift more easily.

Here’s to your ultimate happiness! Which is what everyone wants. We are always willing to spend the time and money on the things we want… that often doesn’t actually make us feel the way we want to feel. The trick is to figure out how to WANT to spend the time and money on the things that will ACTUALLY get us where we want to go.

I’m rooting for you. Let me know in the comments below what’s right in your world and what you’re looking forward to in this new and exciting 2021.

Happiest New Year of your LIFE.

Now get out there and create it.

The Key to Self Awareness

Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed. ~Thich Nhat HanhSelf awareness is a vital key to your ultimate freedom. Why do we do what we do? What causes us to take the action and make the choices we make? Or to maybe NOT take the action we know we should take?

Being able to self reflect and really know why we do what we do is imperative to our creating the change we want in our lives and world.

So what’s key to being self aware? Honesty. Not with someone else, but with you. Yep, being honest with yourself is imperative to self awareness. We can fool a lot of people and we spend an awful lot of time trying to fool ourselves, but as is usually the case, honesty is the best policy.

When we’re honest with ourselves about what we’re really feeling we can get to the heart of the issue. How many times have you found yourself upset with someone or something only to realize later that your level of upset didn’t really match the offending situation? Or maybe you were upset with the wrong person!

Each of our emotions are layered like an onion. The core of it was the first time you ever experienced the emotion. Perhaps you picked up the energy from a parent or other family member, maybe something upsetting happened to you, or both. From that first moment until you release it and allow the energy to move, that emotion continues to attract layer upon layer through each similar experience in our lives.

What you feel majorly upset about today is actually the extension of an emotion that many times started years ago.

When we know this we are able to see how we can sometimes over-react to small situations. They sure don’t seem small in the moment, but that’s because it carries with it years of upset, injustice, resentment, anger, fear, hurt or worry. That’s not to say that all situations are small. It’s just an opportunity to recognize that no matter what the circumstance we can respond differently.

What’s currently “wrong” in your life? What are you upset about?

You already know what it is. It’s that thing you think about all the time that makes you feel terrible. (When you think about it, where do you feel it physically in your body? Stomach, heart, throat, lower back, neck?)

Your weight, anxiety, your or a family members nagging health issue, money, your child, your aging or ailing parents, relationship issues, grief, your inability to get pregnant or an upcoming meeting/appointment/event.

Maybe it’s something that’s happening to another person or a situation you have no control over. That’s OK too. Your newly expanded self awareness will help you in finding clarity.

Ask yourself what’s at the core of my feeling about this situation? Do you feel responsible for fixing it? Do you feel like you should have done something to prevent it? Are you angry at the person you’re worried about? Let yourself explore your emotional feelings around the struggle. Allow yourself to get familiar with how you honestly feel.

Ask yourself what’s really going on? What started this? What’s this really about? When was the first time you recall feeling this emotion? Do you feel scared, mad, overlooked, overwhelmed, unworthy or not good enough? Regardless of your answers, it’s OK. Everything is always working out for us, no matter what it might look like right now.

Let yourself ask the questions and then relax. Don’t rack your brain trying to figure it out. It’ll come up easy enough, and if it doesn’t don’t force it. Notice where you feel it physically and soften around it. Tell yourself you’ll think about it later, but right now you’re just going to be. Breathe deeply and give yourself some mental and physical soothing and support. As you move through the physical energy, your mind will have access to more positive perspectives and ideas.

self-awareness_george-a-sheehan

When you become truly aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions a picture of your life will emerge. Things you struggled over or wondered why about will suddenly come clear and you’ll have a better grip on what you want and what you need to do to get there.