It started in our childhood. For some, in utero.
Fear, the Great Motivator.
Fear. We were raised with it and BY it. It’s a natural human emotion used for millennia by our own brains and outside forces to “keep us safe” or controlled. Our parents were worried for our safety so they scared us. Parents and teachers alike needing to control group behavior to suit immediate needs use fear. Need to get someone to clean their room? Threaten bodily harm.
Now, I know that not everyone was physically abused as a child, but I’d be willing to wager that more children have been indoctrinated into this fear and punishment paradigm than the one of loving acceptance where outbursts and bad behavior were met with, “Great job expressing yourself, Little Johnny!!”
We might have HEARD of someone that parented like that or maybe you saw it on an episode of King of the Hill, like I did… but I’ve never actually SEEN it in real life. Have you?
So why motivate with fear? Because it’s effective! And as parents, we’re exhausted, that’s why! It takes patience, thought and creativity to come up with supportive and truly helpful leadership tactics, specially on the fly.
So, we revert to what’s fast and easy… holler at them and threaten to withhold the ________ that’s causing the problems, that you won’t really withhold because that would cause even more of this type of outburst. OY.
Fear as A System of Control
But, what if we’re not talking about the slippery slope of parenting through fear, out of love?
What happens when we grow up and it’s no longer our parents trying to scare us to make us behave?
What if we’re talking about outside influences on ourselves and our children, not at all interested in safety and well being?
Who then might begin scaring us for reasons of control?
You know what I’m talking about. You’ve seen it and most likely felt it. Schools, society, religion, bosses, partners, friends, kids, government, big tech and the media.
Someone wants you to do something. (Your boss, spouse, child, co-worker, advertiser, government)
You don’t want to do it. (work more overtime, a long list of honey-do’s on your day off, take over the TPS reports, support their cause, wear a mask or get a vaccination)
They begin subtly or obviously scaring you with what could happen if you don’t do it. (You’ll lose your job, be in trouble with your spouse, be restricted from moving freely throughout society, OR ELSE… or else, what?!?)
Your boss, wanting you to work overtime, let’s you know other people are happy to do it, so you feel pressured to conform or lose the job. You’re afraid of being homeless.
Your spouse wants you to pull your weight around the house and you well know the repercussions of not helping out.
Your kid wants the damn candy/video games and while you KNOW it’s not good for them you give in, because you don’t have the energy for that fight.
Your government wants you to keep looking the other way while they mismanage YOUR money and launder it to people who didn’t earn it and don’t deserve it.
Your media wants you to buy into whatever they’re selling because THEY ARE SELLING IT.
I worked in radio sales for a very short time in my younger life and was floored during the sales training, in which I learned the key to selling stuff…. SCARE them. You want to motivate your audience through fear to get them to buy your product. The acronym is KISS… Keep it simple stupid. I knew in a moment, that wasn’t for me.
So, now that you’ve had some of my examples of how fear is used to “guide” or manipulate people, what are some of your own examples of how fear has worked in your life?
Were you parented through fear? What did they scare you into or out of? Did it have any long lasting effects?
Have you felt pressure to do things you didn’t want to do? What was the “CONsequence of not doing it?
Do/did you parent through fear? How does it work out?
Do you feel yourself being pressured into things out of a fear of what will happen if you don’t?
No YOU’RE Selfish
Why do some people need to control other’s? What’s the point? What’s wrong with them? Don’t they have their own lives to deal with?
Have you ever been told you’re selfish by someone because YOU didn’t do what THEY wanted you to do? Now THAT is selfish.
Once we wrap our minds around the idea of FREE WILL, meaning that you are free to make your own choices about what works and doesn’t work in your life, we can begin to see EVERYTHING as it truly is.
Clarity is a beautiful thing and seeing behind the motivation of others is the most powerful clarity you will ever gain.
When people are pressuring you… why?
For who’s benefit? Is it REALLY for you?
And always ask yourself, “Who makes money off of this deal?”
If it doesn’t make you happy, healthy OR make you money, screw it.
What’s the Point?
Understanding that each individual human (mind/body/spirit complex) came here to live, laugh, love and create on this planet at this time, has the right to choose their own experience.
When you can grasp that fear is the absence of love, and love is all there is, fear disappears.
Your unique perspective and desires are a benefit to all and you neglecting who you are to CONform to another’s ideals sells you short and doesn’t fulfill your highest calling.
You being happy, healthy and in love with life is the most powerful way for you to support those feelings in the rest of humanity.
You being fearful, unhappy, sad, guilty and ashamed, benefits only a hand full of folks that make money hand over fist from the suffering of others.
Understanding this level of manipulation releases your attachment to the very thing you’re afraid of.
When you can see that someone else benefits from your being twisted up in fear and anxiety it loosens the grip.
“HEY! Why in the world would someone want me to be upset all the time?”
Until Next Time
Begin to notice all of the subtle and very obvious ways people are trying to scare you into doing something. Some of these folks love you and think they’re protecting you. Some of them don’t care what’s good for you at all, they want you to do what’s good for them.
Join me next time while I discuss the Science of Conscious Creation and why fear is a self fulfilling prophecy.
It’s all energy and it’s all moving!