You’ve Got To Hand It To Them: But They’ll Take It How They Take It

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Crystal Nuding

Check out my latest article, just posted on LinkedIn.We drove out to our favorite river spot yesterday. On the way we stopped at Rusty Rooster to pick up a snack of delicious fried chicken, just like my Granny used to make.

We shared a piece driving down the road…

A few bites into the chicken I handed the piece to Dionne in the way I felt she’d be able to hold it easily and get the best bite, but when she reached for it, she took it in a completely different way than I had handed it to her.

In that moment, I gained a level of clarity on so much of what we do that I had to share it with you.

They’ll take it how they take it.

This is true whatever message, product or service you’re sharing; business or personal. No matter the energy behind what you’re doing, the other person can only perceive that which is in their own vibration and matches their level of conscious awareness.

Years ago, I worked for a person that I loved dearly. I would feel such waves of appreciation for the work we were doing together, I’d be moved send a rave email. In it I’d share all the reasons I was so proud to be doing the work and happy to help and support in any way I could.

I remember on more than one occasion not getting the response I thought I’d get. This person read my heart bursting, absolutely open and loving message and took it the wrong way.

Instead of hearing what I was genuinely saying they took it as a sign I wanted more power, money or recognition. I would never have turned down more money, of course, but those were never my intentions. I was simply sharing my moment of joy and appreciation.

So what’s the solution?

How do we make sure our message falls on open ears and arrives with our true intention intact?

First, feel through the physical sensations of upset or irritation any misunderstanding might have caused. Where is it? In your heart, stomach, throat? Resist the need to explain or defend yourself. They couldn’t hear you anyway. Recognize the other person is receiving this information through their own level of consciousness and no amount of research or hard facts will change their mind in the moment.

We all view the world through the very personal lenses of our positive or negative encounters. Our deepest fears and worries are what cloud our daily life experience. Move through this discomfort physically in your body to align your energy with those that can hear your message and will resonate with your business or service. You aren’t trying to reach everyone, just the ones that need what you’re offering.

Appreciate these ‘outages’ in the moment for the good information they are. Learn to acknowledge the upset you’re feeling physically as the thing keeping you from your perfect alignment. Let yourself feel through it without judgment or justification (or the stories of WHY you’re upset to begin with) and you’ll get even more clear about what you want to say or share or even how you need to re-direct your focus and efforts.

When we begin to recognize bad feelings or momentary “misses” as actual opportunities to move ourselves closer to what we want, then there’s never a problem, merely another potential solution.

Finding Your Flow

Have you ever been presented with an opportunity that obviously worked well for others but you immediately assumed was no good? Or maybe it felt good in the beginning but soon your mind had you convinced that it was a mistake and wouldn’t work out.

In each of these situations we have the opportunity to feel through our initial response to get to the truth of the matter for ourselves. Not what someone else thinks is right, but what WE feel is right for US.

What works for you won’t necessarily work for others and vice versa.

If you’re not connecting with your ideal client or customer, where’s the outage? Is it the way you feel about your offering or the way you feel about presenting or sharing your information?

Either way is no problem. By first being aware of what’s happening you have the opportunity to make adjustments, but they’re not the adjustments you might think.

More important than SEO, content marketing or Facebook ads, aligning your energy to feel good about what you’re doing is paramount to having a successful business. When you are in alignment, advertising is just icing on the cake. Word of mouth will become your greatest advertising tool and any money spent on marketing and ads will yield a higher ROI.

You can still do what you do, but you’ll be doing it in a way that reaches the people you are most excited to help and they will be happy to have found you.

What are the obstacles you bump up against on a regular basis? Where do you physically carry your anxiety, upset, irritation or grief?

When you realize this powerful and important information is available to you right now you can utilize it to create the shift and momentum you need for living the life you’ll love. You don’t have to do it like everyone else. You just have to do it the way that works best for you.

What do you think? If you’re reaching your target audience easily, what are your best tips? If you aren’t, what do you feel is standing in your way?

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Crystal Nuding is a leading edge thinker and stress management expert whose message of soothing and uplifting has helped people around the world. With no religious or spiritual affiliation, she encourages personal fulfillment through self acceptance and empowerment helping people release themselves from suffering, struggle and self-limiting beliefs. https://crystalnuding.com/about-crystal/

Soul Food: What feeds your soul?

Posted on June 11, 2014 by Crystal Nuding

My son turned 21 a few weeks ago. When I ask him what he wanted me to cook for his birthday I got the answer I expected, Chicken and Dumplin’s. They are and always have been his favorite. And before they were his, they were mine. My Great Grandmother Patterson would make them for me and my sisters when we were little. They were always so delicious.

As I stood in the kitchen preparing my only child’s favorite birthday meal my thoughts would drift back to my Grandmother’s kitchen in the big house. Chicken simmering on the stove, flour from rolling out the dough everywhere, the smells warm and comforting. It was a precious time for me and my sisters; to share that experience with Quentin feeds my soul.

What feeds your soul? It doesn’t have to be food. It can be anything, sitting down with a good book, hiking or kayaking down the river. It could be outside in your garden with your hands in the earth cultivating organic veggies for your family or growing roses like your grandmother did. Maybe it’s mowing the lawn and setting the sprinkler so you can sit back and enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of your childhood.

We’ve gotten so wrapped up in what other people think, what we’re “supposed” to do, how we look or what we have or don’t have. None of that really matters. What matters is how you feel on a regular basis. Are you happy? Do you feel good?

Many of us are under constant stress. At home we worry about what we needed to do for work and at work we think about all the things that need to get done at home. We worry about our government, we struggle with our weight, relationships or a health issue all the while believing that if we just think enough about these problems that we’ll resolve them. We came to the conclusion over the years that worrying is a good thing and that if we aren’t worried, we don’t care or aren’t paying proper attention.

Do you want the good news or bad news first?

Well, the bad news is this. Worrying = planning. Worry = creating. The more you think about and worry over upsetting situations in your life, the more and more you will experience those kind of situations that make you feel worried. It’s OK if you are scared to not worry. It’s how we’ve done things for all these years. But, if you’ll notice, worrying isn’t helping, it’s only robbing you of your peace in those moments.

The good news is you can feel through the stress, nervousness or upset physically and shift the situation. You don’t have to keep recreating the same worrisome scenarios over and over in your life. You have more control over your feelings and life than you’ve previously exercised or even been aware of. Again, this is all OK. When you know better, you do better.

We have to begin taking responsibility for our own peace and happiness. It is ours for the having when we stop thinking someone else should behave differently for us to be happy or satisfied. Our happiness and satisfaction is completely within our own control.

When you’re in the midst of a crisis or problem give yourself a break from it and instead let yourself think about what feeds your soul. What could you do in this moment to soothe yourself and begin to think of more pleasing things?

Our minds can’t think differently from how we feel emotionally so give yourself the gift of feeling better. Don’t try to figure things out immediately, just begin to move yourself towards feeling better physically.

What soothes and feeds your soul? Going for a swim, a hot bath and cuppa tea, a round of golf/tennis, quality time with a good friend? What made you feel good as a child? Playing outside, listening to music or coloring? How can you recreate that feeling today?

Ask yourself what feeds your soul and then see what comes up. Maybe you’ll have a memory of something you’d love to do again or a song on the radio or friend reminds you of an activity or experience that would feed your soul. Let yourself open to the wonder you experienced as a child, appreciating small things as if you’re seeing them for the first time.

As I was sitting down with my delicious bowl of Chicken and Dumplin’s I made for Quentin, I was immediately transported to Grandmother’s house. We were at the dining room table, all with our bowls and I could sense her. Her shaky hands with pink nail polish, the clicking of her teeth and dainty way she chewed.

In my heart I heard “You done good girl, I love you, I love you, I love you.” I held that bowl close to my face and just breathed it all in. Being there with my sisters and my precious grandmother, feeling the love that truly exists for me in every moment of my life. My heart burst while the tears of love and appreciation flowed down my cheeks. I love you, Grandmother. Thank you for teaching me about Heaven, love and kindness.

Find whatever that thing is for you and do it. Rediscover the thing that opens your heart and makes you remember the love that is here for you in this very moment, in every moment.

Stress is a temporary thing that can move quickly or last forever, it’s up to you. Give yourself the love and care you deserve by feeding your own soul. Take the time to do it, you’ll never be sorry you did and you’ll always feel better when you do.

Sending you all my soul feeding love, soothing, peace, ease and flow!

What’s Right?

Posted on June 4, 2014 by Crystal Nuding

Spring Lake, San Marcos TX

What if we spent more time asking each other, “What’s right?”

What if we began looking at every situation in our lives and asking ourselves a question that would serve us rather than bring us more problems?

I know, when someone walks into the room looking upset, gloomy or mad our curiosity gets the best of us. That part of us that cranes our neck to see the horrific accident or unfolding tragedy needs to know what’s wrong. Just tell me what’s wrong and I can relax. Not.

It truly is human nature. What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong. What’s wrong with me, with you, with this situation, with our government, our schools, our parents, our kids. Let’s get to the bottom of this! Let’s find out what caused this trouble so we can all point at it and shake our heads in righteous indignation. Oh that is SO WRONG.

I understand. I really do. I’m human too. I understand fear. I understand anxiety. I understand heartache. I understand loss. I understand uncertainty and pain. We all do. We’re not alone. We are all living exactly the same and completely different human experiences.

What can we do to help ourselves through these difficult emotions and times in our lives? How can we better support ourselves in the moment? (And what would it take for us to want to figure out what creates these scenarios and situations over and over?)

What if we ask ourselves “What’s right about this situation?”

I know. I know. That’s a big, huge, enormous question in the midst of all that’s wrong. But, what if asking what’s right gave you a different perspective?

What if asking what’s right helped you to see what is right about this seeming tragedy in front of you?

Give it a shot. What have you got to lose? You’ve already been asking what’s wrong all this long time. How’s that working out for you? Asking “what’s wrong” has been and always will be lining you up vibrationally with more and more things you find wrong.

Decide now to begin asking “What’s right?”

I know that in the middle of confusion and upset asking what’s right about the situation feels weird, but go with it. Notice where the energy comes up in your body and feel through it. Relax and soothe yourself with such tenderness and love.

What harm could come from it? A positive perspective? You actually feeling better?

You might discover that you’re holding on to an old belief about yourself or others that’s creating this irritation or problem. Maybe you’re so focused on the problem that you’re totally missing the blessing that is your release from a dead-end job or relationship that was keeping you from having the money, love or support you deserve.

I remember thinking years back that I was ready for a new car. I loved my other car but some things were going wonky and I couldn’t seem to find a way to get them fixed. Not long after, on a 6am drive with my son to his high school for morning practice, were were rear-ended. It totaled the car. After my moment (about an hour or maybe half a day?) I realized I had been wanting a new car but wasn’t taking the steps to make it happen. I didn’t think I could afford it.

The universe showed me I could. I got another car, new to me and much better. I love my car so much. It feels so good to drive it. I enjoy just thinking about it.

In the moment, though, I was not pleased. Not pleased. Quite irritated and upset even. My son was driving. I was angry at the driver, angry it was six o’clock in the morning, angry my iced tea got poured into my lap. As soon as I jumped out of the passenger seat to see who had done this, I saw the culprit. A woman with two small children in her car and another vehicle behind her with two more small children. My initial anger dissipated into frustration and some compassion. Bless their hearts. We’re all up early shuttling our kids around. It was rainy and shit happens.

After all was said and done I sat in the drivers seat of my new car and laughed. This is what was right about that situation. I wanted a new car, needed one, but wasn’t taking the steps to make that happen. The universe gave me a little nudge.

What are you being nudged to do?

Think back over your life and recognize how many things have happened you first judged as bad that actually turned out better than you ever expected.

Now, look at a current struggle, take a deep breath and ask yourself “What’s right?”

There’s a perspective in every situation that serves you, but you have to be looking for it to find it. I am seeing you seeing it.

Sending all my love and support,

XOXO
Crystal