Busting Out

Crystal Laughing

We all need and do “bust out” from time to time. The thought of our friends becoming new parents makes my heart feel like it will bust out of my chest. Perhaps the job you loved for so long is no longer a match so it’s time to bust out. Maybe we’re busting out because our work project is complete or school is out and it’s time for much needed ease and relief.

Whatever the reason for your last “bust out”, you can see and probably even FEEL the release and relief of busting out. Extracting yourself from a place or feeling that doesn’t seem big enough for you anymore. Something you can’t contain or keep restrained any longer. Busting out, while sometimes uncomfortable, will set you free.

I grew up out in the country on a huge ranch in between two small Texas towns. The people there are good as gold, with hearts the size of our great state, but the minds around there could use a little opening. I’m sure they’d disagree, but I’m a bit different.

Growing up there, you didn’t even realize what a huge world there was outside of our little slice of it. You spend your childhood and young adult life hearing and doing the same things as everyone else around you, not because you wanted to, just because that’s what you did. Most everyone dressed the same and listened to the same music.

We had new kids come in from far away places(like California, ha!) and I would immediately feel sorry for them. They thought they had landed in po-dunk hell. In some ways they had, in others, it was heaven.

I loved growing up and living there, and even today I still love that that is how and where I grew up. So many things I am, know and do are because of my life in that small place, but there is much more to life and me(and you).

What we learn from our parents, communities and society growing up is just that, what we learn, what they knew to teach us, what they knew about life up to that point. But life goes on and we all keep learning.(hopefully)

Folks from my home town do many things… work in the oil field, in schools, they are teachers, coaches and administrators, they are business men and women, parents, stay-at-home moms, and more than a few cowboys. These are all expected, respected, acceptable and appreciated “jobs.”

But how does it work if what you do or your life path doesn’t look exactly like everyone else? What if you have thoughts and feelings that don’t match what everyone else is thinking and feeling? What if your idea of success doesn’t look like what you’ve been taught success looks like? What if your family/friends/community think you need to be, do or have things you don’t really care about? What if they think what you do is a scam or crazy?

Only one thing to do.

Bust. Out.

First let me assure you that you are perfect, absolutely perfect, right now and that everything is absolutely working out for you. The ultimate beauty of this magnificent world we live in is diversity. Variety is the spice of life. It’s what keeps things interesting. Living the life you were meant to live is the most important thing you will ever do for yourself and the world.

You can’t live your life for everyone else forever. Actually, some can and do. If you love it, do it, otherwise stop and do what you love. It’s up to each of us to determine what we want and what will make us happy. If you’re spending all of your time trying to make sure you’re doing things others will approve of you’re missing out on your own true hearts desires.

I lived much of my younger life doing what someone else told me to do. Parents, teachers, bosses and two husbands all to varying degrees determined my existence. Doing what I was told to do and/or what I knew others expected of me was my way of life. It was only after realizing how miserable I was that began to see I didn’t want the same things as everyone else. And that was OK.

Feeling like an alien in your family or community is actually not a bad thing. Take a big step back and have a look at the values, attitudes, ideals and behaviors of the people you feel separated from, do you agree with them? Often times you won’t, and that will be the reason you feel the separateness.

Appreciate everyone and everything that has brought you to right here and now. Know that from right where you are, you can go where ever you want. And this requires absolutely no change on anyone else’s part. They are perfect just the way they are, too.

When we get this concept and begin to appreciate everyone in our lives for their perfect role in shaping who we have and will become, we are amazingly free. No one can ever offend or upset us again.

Learning to live with other people not appreciating or respecting what you do, who you are or how you do things can be an interesting journey. But,ultimately the most rewarding and important journey we’ll ever take.

One day you’ll realize what other people think doesn’t matter and you’ll find yourself giggling. You’ll laugh and laugh about all the times you worried about what someone else might think. Hilarious.

Set your intention now to discover the real you. Intend to truly know who you are, what you do and your benefit to others/society. Many people from your “original tribe” might not really get it or you and that’s OK.

I’m sure you are well aware how people feel about things they don’t understand… many times fearful or dismissive. But, that’s not about you. It’s about them. Bless them and move on.

So, here’s to busting out in whatever way feels best to you. Here’s to you finding your own clearest, strongest voice and the courage to use it.

Find your niche, spread your wings and soar. The world needs more and more people like you… being truly, authentically, happily who you are.

Sending all my love and many blessings. I’m here to help.

Crystal

Focus Forward

ThroughTheTrees - San Marcos River

As you give thought to your future—your future that may be 10 years; your future that may be 5 years; or your future that is 60 days away—you literally begin pre-paving. And then, as you move into those pre-paved moments, and as that future becomes your present, you fine-tune it by saying, This, is what I now want. And all of those thoughts that you have put forth about your future, right down to this moment when you are now intending what action you want to take, will all fit together to bring you precisely that which you now want to live.

— Abraham
Excerpted from the book “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham”

I absolutely loved this Abraham quote. When we are in difficult situations or faced with ugly truths we tend to focus on the right now circumstances of our lives. Which, in moments of joy and happiness is great, but when things don’t look the way you want them to, can be painful to bear. In these hard times, the only thing to do is focus forward.

Think about how good it will feel just a few days, weeks or months from now when everything is as you’d like it to be.

Plan on it, say to yourself and everyone you know and love, “No worries, it’s all coming.” And then start imagining what it will look like when it gets here. Don’t allow yourself to stay focused on what you don’t want. Take a deep breath, relax and know it will work out. It can be hard for us to believe that our minds don’t always have the right answers and that sometimes(most times) until you are consciously focusing on what you want, it actually makes things worse.

Your focus on how you want it to be is the most important thing you can do
to bring about the results you want.

Give yourself the chance to create what you want instead of repeating old scenarios again and again. Let the last time be the last time and move on. No worries. No big deal. That’s how we previously did things, but we’re doing this now.

We think over 70,000 thoughts per day and the majority of those thoughts are the same as yesterday. Focusing forward moves yourself closer to what you actually do want.

When you allow what’s wrong to just flow by you(through your life experience) without fanfare, it doesn’t stick around. The situation will pass and you will be more aware of what you’d prefer to happen next time.

But, when we shout about it, fight about it, blog about it, Facebook it, Tweet it, think about it and discuss it with multiple friends and family members, it can’t help but repeat itself. And then you get to say, “See, I told you so. I knew this was going to happen. This always happens.”

But is that what you really want? No, it’s not. You may think it makes you feel better to “vent”, but you’re only hurting yourself(and the person that has to listen to it). Give yourself 5 minutes with one person to bitch about whatever you need to bitch about and then be done with it.

You want peace, ease, wellness, happiness, relief, health, harmony, joy, excitement, abundance, satisfaction, fulfillment… am I on the right track? Thought so.

Don’t ask why or what else could go wrong? Why only gets you more wrapped up in the trouble at hand and what else is creatively asking for more of what you don’t want.

If you want something different to happen in your world, you’ve got to begin to think differently. Allow yourself to feel through whatever comes up in your moment of upset, but begin to change the way you think about problems… Interesting situation. I wonder how this is going to work out in my favor? Forget that problems even exist. Forget them. Think about the solutions.

Focus forward with these questions. Don’t try to answer them. Just ask and let the universe deliver.

  • What is my true hearts desire?
  • How will it feel when I’ve gotten what I wanted?
  • How can it be easier?
  • Who could help?
  • How can I allow myself to allow more help?
  • How good will I feel when I’ve allowed the easiest solution?
  • How much easier will my life be when I think only in terms of solutions?
  • How fun and exciting will it be when I no longer see life’s problems as problems?

Now, just start making a note of everything that is working out for you. Make a list of things you want and start watching for them to show up.

Keep living your life and doing what you need to do, just notice when coincidences happen or synchronicities show up. Take them as cues that you’re on the right track and let it encourage you to keep your focus on the end result.

If you need help letting go of some old scenarios(heartache/heartbreak/anger/guilt/shame/resentment), I’m here to help. Don’t let your past steal your joyous now. Let that go and live your life.

Life is good and fun and it’s supposed to be easy. We’ve been brainwashed into thinking that struggle is honorable. While those who struggled before us certainly deserve their honor, we don’t have to struggle any more.

Life is easier than we let it be. I can help you let it be easy.

Much Love to you,
Crystal

Alphabet Soup

Alphabet Soup

Photo by Tasya Menaker

Do you ever lie awake in bed at night and wish you could turn your brain off? Chores, bills, family issues running through your mind, one after the other. Things to do, business to handle, problems to solve and beside all of that, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket.

It’s really not, it just serves a handful of folks to make you think it is.

Not to worry, I can help.

Being human we all have this busy monkey mind problem. From where you may be right now, your thoughts can jump around from who’s done wrong, to what you’ve done wrong.

Focusing on what is bad, wrong, terrible, unjust, wrong, wrong, wrong(did I say wrong?) is the natural order of the day for most folks. If you think that’s just the way you are and it can’t change, you’re wrong.

It’s easy to refocus our minds with a bit of information and a couple of simple, easy tools in our belt to use when we need them.

Tip 1 – Get into your “Right Brain.”

As you know, our brain is divided into a right and left hemisphere. The left side of your brain is the analytical, critical thinking side(notice the word CRITICAL?), while the right hemisphere of your brain is where your creativity comes from. When your brain is running a mile a minute, say aloud or to yourself, “let’s get into our right brain.” It will help slow down the computer(your brain) and allow you to focus on something more pleasurable and relaxing.

Tip 2 – Give your brain a job.

Once you’ve gotten yourself into your “right mind,” consciously begin to think of other things. As I was lying in bed the other night trying to turn my brain off so I could get to sleep and rest easily, I started this little game in my head.

Using the alphabet, I started saying words that soothed me and focused me easily in a different direction(I was asleep by K). Coming up with the next word took all of my attention as I was searching for words that felt good so my busy mind was busy supporting me. You can’t keep thinking of what you don’t like if you are actively thinking about something else.

Below is the list of words I started compiling.

  • Amazing Appreciation Abundance Adventure Allow Afloat
  • Bold Believe Boundless Beauty Breakthrough BE Breathtaking
  • Caring Capable Compassion Confidence Creativity Colorful
  • Delicious Desire Dreams Daring Divine Dazzle
  • Exciting Effortless Ecstasy Empower Enjoy Ease Epic Exhilarating Expansive
  • Friendly Flowing Fun Faith Free Fabulous Fantastic Flowery
  • Gracious Grandeur Grateful Giggling Gentle Groovy Graceful
  • Happy Hilarious Hopeful Heart Hugs Honor Healthy
  • Inspired Imagination Independence Innovation Intention
  • Joyous Jokes Juicy Jolly Jocularity Jazz
  • Kindness Kiss Kinky
  • Love Laugh Luminous Life Lounging Lively Luscious Liberty Lavish Lucrative
  • Miracle Moments Memories Magic Mysterious
  • Natural Nature Nice Neat Nurtured Nourished
  • Original Optimist Orgasmic Outstanding
  • Purposeful Positivity Potential Possibility Peace Passionate Prosperity Power Playful Psychedelic
  • Quirky Quality Quilt Quiver Queendom Quaint
  • Romantic Relationship Romance Respect Robust Replenished Recharged Rested Renewed Relief
  • Strong Sweet Smart Solutions Shine Soothing Shift Sensual Serene Spectacular Success
  • Tantalizing Truth Triumph Transformation Thankful Terrific Trust
  • Unfolding Universe Uplifting Utopia Uninhibited Understood United Unequaled Unity
  • Vision Visualize Vibrations Vivacious Vibrant Virile Voluptuous Variety
  • Wonderful Worthiness Wonder Whole Wise Wellness Wealth Whimsical
  • Xylophone (haha, you let me know what X letters you come up with!)
  • Yes Yummy Yielding Yay Youthful Yachting
  • Zealous Zest Zone Zing Zippy

You can do it spontaneously or plan for it. Sometimes it helps to have a plan in place for moments when you know you could have a hard time focusing on the positive. Write them down on a piece of paper and just read them aloud or to yourself. Post your list in your car, on your bathroom mirror, the refrigerator or in your office.

Don’t let yourself spend too much time fretting, worrying or focusing on things that upset you. We, as human beings, are vibrational boomerangs. What you put out there you absolutely do get back.

So when you find yourself raging against the machine(any of them or their drivers) take a couple steps back and a big deep breath.

Allowing yourself to move the energy physically in the moment and placing your conscious focus on better feeling things move you away from what you don’t want and draw you closer to that thing or situation that you would prefer, that feels good.

Simply reading a list of positive, good feeling words is much more helpful and effective than complaining about what happened and repeating that story to as many people will listen. You may think sharing your woes feels good, but it actually only creates more of what you don’t want.

Give it a shot. Make your own list or use words from mine. When you find yourself focusing in a way that doesn’t feel good do yourself a favor and consciously turn it around.

Let me know how this list works for you. Please share any other good feeling words I have undoubtedly left out.

Seeing your absolute freedom, happiness, wellness and abundance!

Much Love to you,
Crystal

Much appreciation to Tasya Menaker for the alphabet soup pic!
Check her out here – http://www.flickr.com/photos/tasyamenaker/6643549023/