Crystal Nuding

I’ve had some full circle moments lately.  I recently went home for my high school homecoming. It has been 21 years since I graduated from Jayton High School.  And for the first time since I was  a very young child, I wanted to go home.  I needed the comfort of my family.  I needed to know that the recent energy I was feeling (previously tied up with them) was indeed old and no longer existed in my life.

Beside feeling the comfort and ease of family and being in my child hood home, I was reminded of how big my home truly is.  I was raised and my family still lives on JD Patterson Ranch, between 2 small towns in Texas.  Returning for homecoming in a town of 513 people is pretty wild, the love and support is amazing.  Political differences, religious differences… no matter.  We all hugged and smiled and squeezed each other laughing.  We kids grew up together, and the elders watched me grow up and I love them, all of them. Then and now.

The other town over, Aspermont is where my mom and grand parents were raised and lived most of their lives.  Anytime we go back, we eat at Hickman’s, the cafe of my childhood.  (chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, yeast rolls or garlic toast, old school salad bar… getting the picture!?? YUM.) As soon as I arrive in town, everyone recognizes me (because I look like my mother and my grandmother) and asks how they are.  Again, politics, religion, any difference at all… never mentioned.

It occurred to me on this trip how important having this community of familiar love and support has been in my life. I have 2 counties worth of folks that think I am pretty darn great and are always glad to see me and hug my neck. I see very clearly how people need it. I am well aware of the stability this network has provided me. Love and Support. I rarely see any of them (maybe once a year?) but they know me and love me and are there, with a smile on their faces whenever they think about me. And vice versa.

When I came home after the weekend.  I was again met with beautiful community.

I am recently rebuilding parts of my life. It feels so good to start fresh. Even if it’s a little scary at first, things always come around.  The unfamiliar can be most unsettling at times. But when I emailed my friends and family (some of which I’ve never seen in person, only spoken to on the phone or through email!) my new contact information and to tell them about this blog, my feeling of being home was even more palpable.  The love and support I have received has been overwhelming and I am more than thrilled at what life has in store for me.

My sweet dog Zupe passed away 1 year ago on Oct 8th. He is ultimately what opened me up to the true nature of our lives and the beauty and wonder around us every day.  The energy I allowed to move with his passing flowered my full enlightenment.  The year that followed has been profound.  Vibrations that lay dormant in me (that no longer match my new reality) have come up and been felt.  Over and over again.  Situations I couldn’t believe.  Energy long since forgotten, back again for my feeling.  It didn’t always feel great, of course.  Because that is the way life is, and it’s ok.  I recognized at every turn myself moving old energy. Allowing the discomfort to wash over me and breathing through it.  Nothing to worry about. I’m not going to drown. I stand on solid ground. We all do.

So come home yourself.  To the knowing that all is truly well.

My life is exactly what I make of it.  No one creates in my life and reality. (Thank God!)

It’s just little ole me here.

Being excited about allowing more and more ease in my life and looking forward to sharing it all.

Much Love to you,
Crystal